


In A Perfect World

by Anise, Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-04
Updated: 2006-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-30 20:05:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anise/pseuds/Anise, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie and Remus meet in January of 1996, and their relationship is not an easy one, but Dumbledore's death changes things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In A Perfect World

**Author's Note:**

> CO-WRITTEN WITH ANISE
> 
> Note 1: The parts in italics at the end of the story are taken from HBP  
> Note 2: Written for Slashfest III  
> Request: Set around the time of Order of the Phoenix. Charlie and Remus start seeing each other, but Charlie insists on keeping it secret because he doesn't want his family to know he likes men. Remus ends up getting his heart broken.

Charlie had sworn an oath to the Order of the Phoenix, but he had never truly felt a part of it. Dumbledore sent him back to Romania within hours of his pledge. He had barely had time to say hello to his parents before he was back among his dragons.

His new mission was converting foreign wizards and vampires. Again, it didn't seem such a strange occurrence since he was always speaking out against He Who Must Not Be Named.

He kept up with what was happening in Britain through his mother's letters, but things didn't mean as much. His family was living in Grimmauld Place, a house he had only seen once. She disliked the way Sirius was acting around Harry, but Charlie had never met Sirius, and he'd only seen Harry a few times. Even the fight with Percy didn't seem as important as to warrant the split of their family, not that he would say so to his mother. The truth was that here in Romania, the war seemed far away.

Things changed in a cold day of January when Lupin arrived at the camp. He had never met the werewolf before, and he was wearing the same look of curiosity and mistrust that was currently on the other keepers' faces.

Lupin, on the other hand, had to have seen pictures of him or maybe it was his hair and freckles that allowed people to identify him as a Weasley. Whatever the reason, Lupin walked directly to him.

Remus hesitated for only a moment before stretching out his hand to the young man in front of him.

"Charlie Weasley?" he said, his voice sounding rough. The bright red hair stood vibrantly out in the crowd; he hadn't been hard to spot.

It had been weeks since he'd slept well, and he had long since passed the point of simple exhaustion. It wasn't safe; he needed his wits about him to be able to deal with Greyback and the others. He also knew that coming here to Romania to wait for word from another group that had broken from Greyback was exceedingly dangerous. And without funds, he needed to find somewhere to stay until he received the promised owl.

This had been Albus' suggestion. From the looks on the faces before him, he wasn't sure it was a good one.

"My name is Remus Lupin," he said, shaking the young man's hand. Charlie's grip was firm and Remus could feel calluses under his fingers. "Albus Dumbledore sent me to speak with you. Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." Charlie hadn't received any letter from Dumbledore, but the man seemed to like mysteries. The redhead nodded toward the group of tents. "We can go to my tent. It's not much, but it will give us some privacy.

He led Remus to his tent, raising the flap to let the werewolf in, and then zipped it closed. The inside was bigger then the outside. There was a cot on one side. In a corner, there was a small range with a kettle on top of it. There was a cupboard on top of it, and another one sitting next to the range, and a small sink on the other side. Another corner was occupied by a wooden table and matching chairs. The last corner had a closet.

"All the tents are spelled with silencing charms. We can't be heard outside, but you still can hear what is happening," Charlie explained. Then he looked around at the floor, and the different objects left lying everywhere. "But not enough to be convinced to keep it clean," he added with a self deprecating smile. "So what is this about?"

Remus smiled at him in return. "Thank you for agreeing to speak to me." Albus had seemed so sure that Charlie would be willing to help. Remus hadn't shared his optimism. In his experience, things usually didn't turn out the way he hoped. But Charlie seemed receptive, and he allowed himself to relax somewhat.

"I assume you are aware that I work for the Order. I'm in contact with the werewolves, the only contact they have right now." He got straight to the point, outlining the issues, quickly filling Charlie in on the situation, on the importance of gaining the trust of the werewolves who were hiding here in Romania.

"So here I am. Now I have to wait until I hear something, probably a few days." He glanced up at Charlie, holding his eyes. "I need a place to stay."

Once more Charlie was surprised by the cloak and dagger approach that Dumbledore used most of the times. Couldn't he have sent a message asking for a place for Remus? He looked around, and then back at Remus, grinning. "As it happens, we have a one room tent, which can be magically enlarged. It has plenty of privacy spells, great view, and warming spell. However, we don't provide maid service."

He nodded toward the back. "We can enlarge the back. Put the cots there, and use the front for... well just about everything. There isn't much to do here at night, unless you plan to go to town, and most of us are too tired when the sun sets. We could find you a room in town if you'd prefer," he added belatedly.

"This is more than adequate," Remus said at once. "Thank you. I think that the idea of having nothing to do after the sun sets sounds like heaven."

Sirius disagreed of course. He had been so jealous of Remus being sent out. Oh, he'd never said it, but Remus could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, anger laced with festering envy. Part of him understood, but the part that needed sleep disagreed that what he'd been doing was a good thing at all.

He smiled and ran a hand through his greying hair. "A bed is sufficient. Please, don't trouble yourself for me. I promise not to get in your way."

"Don't you worry; everyone gets in everyone's way, here. It's almost like the Burrow, only quieter," Charlie said, chuckling.

Charlie busied himself with the tent for a moment. He conjured up the extra room, and levitated his cot to the back room. He did the same with his closet.

When he was done, he unzipped the front of his tent. "There is tea, if you'd like. Cups, sugar and tea leaves are in the cupboard by the range. There's milk, too. Help yourself, and I'll be right back."

Charlie went out to the main supplying tent, and obtained a cot, sheets and an extra chest. He debated for a moment, but since they had the extra room, he could use one of the couches, and a coffee table. He shrunk everything he had picked up, and walk back to his tent.

As he entered the tent, he looked at the man who was sitting in the corner with a cup of tea in his hands. He continued to study the werewolf as he returned the furniture to its normal size, and arranged it around the tent.

Lupin seemed tired, not a good tired, like they did at the end of a work day, but that tired that made one want to sleep for days. "Do you need anything else? Anything to eat, perhaps." Some pepper up potion, he mentally added.

The tea warmed him as he waited, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the wall. He could feel Charlie's eyes on him and he opened his own, finally, conjuring a smile at Charlie's offer. He was hungry, but wasn't terribly interested in putting anyone out. He could wait.

"I'm fine, thank you. You've done more than enough, really." It wasn't in his nature to take charity, and this was difficult for him. But there wasn't much of a choice, not anymore, not with all the new legislation that had been pushed through regarding lycanthropy.

"Your family speaks highly of you. I apologize that our first interaction accompanies my request for help."

Charlie waved his hand. "Please, stop, it's no bother. Besides, Mum would box my ears if she thought I wasn't being the proper host."

He went to the cupboard. "This one," he said, touching the cupboard on the floor, "is charmed to keep things cold." He crouched and opened it, rummaging through its contents. "I still have some fasole verde. It's a soup with green beans and bacon. There is also some bread to go with it. If you don't like it, I can see what I can find in the commissary. I dare say not much, but we can try."

Remus smiled at that. "I'll be sure to inform Molly that you were extremely hospitable." The Weasleys had always been kind to him. Even knowing what he was, they'd trusted him with their children, let him eat at their table, allowed him to sleep under the same roof. He shouldn't have expected any less from a man who'd been raised by those same people.

"Don't let me keep you from your work. If it's all right, I'd like to rest before thinking of food. And if you can think of any way I can help while I'm here, please be sure to let me know. I'd like to be useful." It would make it much easier if there was someway to repay this debt.

"I'm sure we'll find something to alleviate your boredom while you're here." Charlie closed the iced cupboard, and straightened up. "If you get hungry in the middle of the night, take anything you want, but for now we can both rest. I don't have the night shift, which means an early morning for me. There is a building with loos and showers at the end of the tents if you need."

Charlie bid Remus goodnight, leaving the werewolf to finish his tea, and went to the newly created room. He cast a warming spell to protect them from the mountain air, and then got into his coat. By the time, Remus came to bed, Charlie was asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Charlie woke up before the alarm went off. He went to the living room, careful not to make any noise. He could hear the birds chirp, their sounds muffled by the roars of the dragons.

He warmed the water to make tea. He took out a few boxes of cereals and milk. He'd never eaten cereals before coming to Romania, but they were healthier than eggs and bacon, and more satisfying than toast and jam (not that he didn't have toast and jam on the table for when he was done with the cereals).

The kettle whistled, and Charlie poured himself a cup of tea. Then he sat at the table and ate his breakfast.

Remus' eyes opened slowly. It took a moment to orient himself to his surroundings. It came back in pieces. Romania, Charlie Weasley, a safe place to sleep.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so _hard_. He almost felt hung over from it.

The cot across from his was empty, and he stayed still and listened to Charlie moving around in the other room before his stomach reminded him that he needed to eat.

He stretched and sat up, groaning as his muscles protested. He dressed quickly and found Charlie, still in his night clothes, sitting at the small table in the other room.

"Good morning," he said roughly, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Morning," Charlie said, his voice bright in the early hours. "The water needs to be reheated for the tea, and there are cereals. If you don't like them, there's eggs and bacons, oatmeal, and mmmm... I'm not sure what else, but there is always food around here."

"Cereal is fine." Remus busied himself with the water, preparing himself some tea as well as a bowl of cereal. He sat down across from Charlie, forcing himself to eat slowly, even though his stomach was urging him to feed himself faster.

A place to sleep, free from attacks, and food that was edible... it seemed too good to be true. He found himself hoping that the owl took a few days to arrive, but then immediately felt guilty. He shouldn't be thinking of himself. He was just so damn _tired_.

"So what's a day here like for you," he asked, when he finally felt as if he could stop in between bites to speak.

"It really depends if we have the day or the night shift. The night shift pretty much means trying to stay awake in case something goes wrong," Charlie said as he stood up, and went to the kitchen area. When he returned, he sat a plate filled with fruit on the table. He also laid a few tablets of chocolate. "From Switzerland," he commented as he sat back down.

"The day shift is a little more complicated. We're a research camp, so most of our days are spent doing research on the use of dragon parts. The dragons take care of themselves for the most part, but we need to make sure that they don't fly where they can hurt people. We also need to bring them back at night. We take care of them when they get sick. There are some good days and some bad ones."

He finished his breakfast, before rinsing his bowl. "You're free to look around, just be careful when you get near the fenced area." Charlie dried his hands, and stood there, leaning against the sink. He was struck once more by the fact that the man looked like he needed to sleep for a month, followed by another one of constant eating.

"I have some books you can borrow, mostly about Quidditch and dragons," he added, smiling again. "In case, my interests weren't obvious."

"It's lovely here. After a shower I'll walk around for a bit. But don't worry, I won't get too near the dragons. I've no desire to become a meal."

He accepted the fruit and ate slowly. "Please let your co-workers know that I'm at your disposal while I'm here. There's no reason for me not to pull my weight. If you trust me with your friends, that is. I understand if you would rather me stick close to the tent. I assure you I'm safe though. The full moon isn't for another two weeks."

Charlie had been lost, trying to understand why he wouldn't trust Remus with his friends, but when he heard the last part, he blinked. "I'm sorry, but you do understand that we research magical creatures here, right? I know they aren't the same as Dark creatures, but no one here will mistake a wizard with a werewolf. A werewolf is a creature that appears once a month, nothing else."

He smiled. "Hell, we deal with vampires all the time, and they aren't vampires once a month. Relax, Remus, no one will care here, and when the time comes, there are plenty of people used to dealing with dangerous beasts. We'll find a solution, don't you worry. In fact, Helga is pretty good at potions. I don't know if she could make the potion, Wolfsbane, Mum said?" he asked, trying to remember everything that his mother had told him about the potion. "We could get the directions from Dumbledore, and see if it's possible to make it here before the full moon."

He couldn't wrap his mind around this level of acceptance from people who didn't know him. Charlie'd only met him the day before and he'd allowed him to sleep in the same room, to eat his food, and was now offering even more. It was unimaginable and Remus took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"I won't be here for the full moon. Regardless. Thank you for your offer, and thank you for your understanding, but I would never put any of you at risk like that. The potion is extremely difficult and expensive to make. I'm not taking it at the moment, but I have a safe place to change back in England. I won't be able to function normally the first few days after the full moon, so it would do me no good to be here anyway." He smiled at Charlie, unable to express his gratitude properly, wishing there was some way to let him know just how thankful he was.

"I admit that I've been away for a long time, so I don't know how things are done in Britain, but out here we help each other when we are recovering from an injury. I don't see why it should be different for you, unless you have others who can care for you, of course."

Charlie pushed himself off from the sink, and went toward the front of the tent. He opened the flap, but stood at the edge. "Look, I don't know if Helga can do it, but we keep many so called rare ingredients for our research. We pinch a little from here, and a little from there, no one will know," he said with a wink. "Think about it, and you can let me know."

Remus opened his mouth and closed it again. He wasn't at all sure what to say. In the end he simply nodded and brought his tea to his lips.

"Thank you," he said quietly, hoping that Charlie understood that the gratitude was for much more than the offer. Charlie smiled at him as he left for work and Remus sat very still for a while, letting his mind wonder about the young man who was offering him so very much.

* * *

The days passed slowly, or as slowly as they ever did in a camp filled with dangerous beasts. There were no injuries, and that alone was enough to have them qualified as quiet days.

Charlie had gotten used to having Remus in his tent. The werewolf was quiet, extremely polite, more so than any person Charlie had ever met, and he tried to be useful in any way he could.

He hadn't noticed at the beginning, too busy with work, but then little things cropped out. His cot was made when he didn't remember making it, the fruit was washed and sat on the table at dinner time, the book he was reading would find its way to the coffee table. Charlie hadn't expected any of it, but he liked people who were willing to help even when they didn't have to.

Four days later, Remus received his first owl. It was during the day, and Charlie had been busy working, but there were no secrets in a camp as small as theirs, and he found out about the owl before even returning to his tent for dinner. However, they made it through dinner without raising the subject.

Remus had been exceptionally quiet during their meal, thinking about his morning. Ten days until the full moon and he had began to wonder if an owl would be coming at all. Then, this morning, Remus had just come in doing a few odd jobs, and was just settling in with a cup of tea when he had heard the rustle of wings. His heart had leapt as he had seen the unfamiliar owl, the rolled parchment, and of course it could have been from Dumbledore, from Sirius, but it hadn't been, he had known it wouldn't be.

He had been right.

His heart had sped up as he read and he hadn't been sure whether to be relieved that they wanted to meet with him in a few days, or wary that getting the meeting had been so easy. He had settled somewhere in the middle and by the time Charlie had come in for dinner he had managed to push it to the back of him mind in order to fix them both something to eat.

The meal had been amicable, as all the meals were with Charlie. Charlie had been animated, friendly, and Remus had found himself taken in by his humour, by his straight forwardness. He spoke of his day, talked about his dragons, and Remus had eaten quietly, content to listen. It was so different here, not at all like Grimmauld Place. It was sunny, and open, and there wasn't a constant gloom hanging over them all. Quite the contrary.

He stood and stretched when they were done, taking both their plates to the sink.

Charlie waited, unsure if he should bring it up. It might have been a purely personal message and he didn't want to intrude. If it weren't, he still wasn't sure if he should ask. Dumbledore kept their missions secret for a reason, even if Charlie didn't understand the reason.

"Sorry to have to bring this up, but... I know you got an owl. Do you know if you'll be staying, then? Not to pry, or anything," he rushed to add, "but we got all the ingredients for the Wolfsbane, and Helga plans on starting it tomorrow. Even if it goes pear-shaped, she'll still have time to try again and have it ready in time. Don't want her to put in all this time, if you won't be here."

Remus was startled for a moment that Charlie knew he'd received an owl. But then the information about the Wolfsbane pushed everything else from his mind. "You've... you've gotten the ingredients? I don't... it's not... I can go back to England, I told you that."

He was flustered. This was entirely too much, he couldn't accept it. "I... they want to meet in a few days, I've no idea if it will take more than once. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be here... I don't want anyone to go to that much trouble... I can't pay you for it." Remus looked away unsure as to how to proceed.

"We didn't ask for anything, did we?" Charlie pushed his chair back, and approached Remus, standing in front of him. "Look, we got the directions, and we do have all the ingredients here. We'll help Helga with whatever she needs, so no one will be overwhelmed."

He put a hand on Remus's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I told you we take care of our own here, and as long as you're here, you are one of us. We'll make the potion, and if you need to return to England, we'll find a way for you to have the potion. You could Apparate here a few nights before. We read that you can take it up to a week before, three times is best for some reason we can't figure out, but that's what Dumbledore's letter says."

Charlie pulled back, and smiled. "From the terseness, the various comments on people's intelligence, and the handwriting, I'd say that it was written by Snape, so I thought best to just do what he says instead of asking for an explanation."

Remus tried to compose himself. "Yes, Severus doesn't like explaining himself. He is under the impression that his word is law. I don't argue."

He couldn't quite wrap his mind around what Charlie was offering. Not many people went out of their way for him like this. "I... I don't know what to say. Thank you. Do you have somewhere I can undergo the transformation? Away from everyone, somewhere that's secure? Even with the potion I won't chance endangering anyone."

Charlie chuckled. "You do remember that we care for dragons, yes? We have plenty of places we can use. We can use the caves, if you like. There are magical barriers at the entrance. We can make it comfortable for you. Or if you'd like open spaces, we can create a fenced area. You tell me what you need, and we'll find a solution, don't you worry."

He walked to his chair, and picked up his book, opening it, but he kept his eyes on the other man. "Maybe you should tell me a little about the change. I like to be prepared for all possibilities, and if the potion doesn't work, we can subdue you without hurting you. There are spells we use on the dragons. Still, I like to know what we'd be facing." Everything was said matter of fact, and as far as Charlie was concerned it was. It was another creature for which they would need to care.

"The cave would be better. I'd prefer to be enclosed as much as possible. In case. Besides, it would be much easier than fencing in an area."

Remus sat down and leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "The change isn't what you have to worry about. It's what comes after. The change will look the same either way. It is somewhat less painful with the potion, but you won't be able to tell if you're watching. It's not pretty one way or the other. If the potion works then I retain enough of my mind to be able to control myself. I'm no more than a wolf, still not completely safe, but not the monster I become without it."

He looked at Charlie. "Have you ever seen a transformed werewolf? Have you seen what one is capable of? It's not just that a werewolf has no regard for human life, it's that we seek it out. The werewolf's instinct is to hunt. And we hunt humans only. Without the potion... you'll be dealing with a beast that is uncontrollable, and one that would kill you if given even the slightest chance. I'd not want you to be near. As long as the area is secure I can't do any damage to anyone other than myself."

"Is that the explanation you give students? Because I find it sorely lacking." Charlie put the book down, put an ankle on his knee and grabbed his bent leg with both hands. "No, I have never dealt with any werewolves, and I'd do the research, but we don't have the time. I'm afraid that you'll have to put up with my questions.

"First, if the potion works, what will we face? Will the nearness to the dragons factor in? Would you upset the dragons if you know? I think we can deal with the easy ones before we move onto the more problematic."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I could have painted a much grimmer picture. I didn't think it necessary. And if you'll care to remember, you're young enough to have been one of my students.

"I don't know if I will upset the dragons. If the potion doesn't work I will make a tremendous amount of noise. Silencing spells may be necessary if the dragons are easily upset. Werewolves don't go after other animals, so there's no real danger, and the dragons don't seem to become agitated with my presence now. I'm sure they can sense what I am. If the potion works, you won't have to deal with the noise, I will be able to control it."

"I survived classes with Snape. His first bloody year in school. I don't know what you heard, but he actually got 'nicer' by the time I reached seventh year. After him, you have no chance of scaring me. Besides, you are a lot more pleasant to the eyes than he was."

Charlie got up, and found a bottle of locally made wine. He poured it in two mismatched glasses, and handed one to Remus before sitting down again. "All right, next possibility, if the potion doesn't work, what would you need to make sure you don't get hurt? I know when the dragons get wild, the tight spaces only agitate them further, causes them to hurt themselves. We could find another solution."

He swallowed some of the wine, before leaning forward. "As I said, there are spells we use to relax the dragons. I could use them if you grant me permission. What is not negotiable is the fact that I will be there. We'll plan everything, but we must prepare for the worse, and if something goes wrong, we can't have a werewolf running around. We can protect ourselves, but if you can run as fast as a wolf can, the Muggles in the nearby villages will not.

"You said that I'll be dealing with a beast that is uncontrollable, and one that would kill you if given even the slightest chance. I do that every day. I won't panic, and I will stop you if it becomes necessary, but we need to find the most agreeable way to accomplish this."

"My permission? Of course, you have my permission to use any means necessary to stop me. But if you close off the mouth of the cave well enough, test it before hand, there will be no need. If the potion doesn't work and I can't get out to hunt, I will injure myself." He opened his hands and looked at Charlie. "It's part of it, Charlie. And it's something that I've learned to deal with. I don't think that it's necessary for you to be close if I can't get out."

"Whether I'm in an open or closed area, it won't matter. If a werewolf cannot get to humans, they turn their teeth on themselves. There is no calming them. Stunning spells will work, strong ones, but as to something that will relax a transformed werewolf? I have no idea. You say it works on a dragon, in theory then, it should work on a smaller beast, but I can't say for sure. You wouldn't know until you tried." He shook his head. "I really don't want you close to me when I transform. But I do understand you wanting to make sure I don't get out. We'll test the barrier, make sure it will hold. Then, as long as you have help, I see no reason for you to be outside the cave to keep a lookout."

Charlie opened his mouth, but no sound came. He stood up again, pacing in the small room, and then he stopped in front of Remus. "How do you consider you hurting yourself a good solution? Maybe that's how you do things in England, but it won't happen on my watch," he said, staring at Remus. "I will be there, because if it works, I can make the night as comfortable as possible. If it doesn't work, I will make sure that you don't hurt anyone, including yourself. There are spells that make the dragons drowsy, sleepy, but don't hurt like the stunning spells. I need to be there to cast those spells. I will _not_ let you suffer alone. Is that any clearer?"

"I consider putting you in the least amount of danger possible, a good solution. I would rather myself get hurt. I can live with that. For something to happen to you, or anyone else... I've lived a long time with the knowledge of what I am. But also with the knowledge that I've never harmed another person. It's not just a bite, it's an infection, and that's if you survive. I can't... I couldn't live with that."

Remus shook his head and leaned back in his chair, looking up at him. "You've got your mother's stubborn streak," he said, sighing. "You know, I won't remember that a stunning spell hurts, don't you? I remember pain afterward, but where it comes from is a blur." He rubbed a hand across his face. "If you want to try the spell that's fine, but promise me you won't come inside the enclosure. You can hit me from outside just as well."

"You won't remember, but I will remember using a spell that caused pain, when I could have cast a different one. I will remember when you feel the pain in the morning." Charlie went around the coffee table and sat on it. His knees were touching Remus's as he looked at the man. "I promise that I will stay outside if the potion doesn't work, if you agree that if the potion works, I can let you out and we find some place more comfortable. It will help afterwards, you know that." He stopped for a moment, and then smiled. "Mum taught us well."

He didn't like the idea of Charlie letting him out, even if the potion worked perfectly. There was a risk involved and he'd rather not take the chance. But the boy had dug his heels in and it didn't appear that he would be giving in any time soon. It didn't matter, the potion was exceptionally difficult to make. There was a very good chance it wouldn't work.

"All right," he said slowly, holding Charlie's gaze. "I think the cave will be comfortable enough, though. I'm usually sore after the change, I'll simply sleep."

"Okay," Charlie said, standing up again. He wouldn't argue with Remus about the aftermath. He wouldn't mention that they were already looking at potions that would alleviate the aches. He didn't need to tell Remus that the moment he had explained the problem, every keeper had started looking for solutions to make this pain free. No, Remus didn't need to know, because he would find out soon enough.

* * *

The meeting had gone better than he'd expected. The other Werewolves were wary of him, but they seemed interested in what he had to say. There would be more joining them in the week following the moon and there would be a second meeting then, but Remus was optimistic.

He wished he was as optimistic about tonight.

He stood at the mouth of the cave and peered inside. He'd taken the potion for the past few nights and in another hour they would know if it had worked. He'd helped to test the barrier earlier and he felt confident that he wouldn't be a danger to anyone once he was inside. As long as he was inside alone. He couldn't shake the fear that Charlie would come inside, or that something would go wrong if Charlie decided to let him out.

The sun was beginning to set and Remus turned when he heard footsteps behind him. Charlie moved up beside of him and Remus smiled. "Not much longer. Will anyone else be out here?"

"Not at the moment, but the night shift will start soon, and they can be here in seconds if I need them. We have a system in place for the dragons, so you don't have to worry about my safety." Charlie put a hand of Remus's back, and smiled. "I'll be right here; no matter what, you won't get hurt tonight. I can promise you that."

"I am concerned with your safety. I've been doing this forever. I know I'll be fine. This is your first time around someone transforming. Of course I'm much more worried about you."

He looked out over the grounds and leaned against the stones at the front of the cave. "I don't want you to be frightened at the transformation. It hurts, and there's nothing that can be done about it. The bones break and reform and I've been told it's loud. It takes a few minutes, that's normal, and I don't want you even near the barrier if the potion doesn't work. You will be able to hit me from a good way back. Chances are I'll charge the barrier, and I'll be right against it. An easy target."

"Fuck, Remus, do you enjoy being hit?" Charlie said, barely containing his frustration. "Because it's starting to sound like it. I'll be fine; you'll be fine; everyone will be fine. Trust me to do my job, which doesn't include hexing beasts the moment they show me their teeth, or flames, as the case might be."

Once more, he wondered what kind of treatment Remus has experienced if he could accept so calmly that he should be hurt, but that was not a discussion to start now. "Go on. I won't stand too close."

Remus ran a hand through his hair. " _I_ am not your job. You've never done this before and I am trying to keep you safe." He could feel the moon in his blood, tingling through his extremities, down his spine and he took a step back, into the cave, reigning in his temper. "Seal the cave, please. It won't be long."

He stepped further away from Charlie into the darkened interior of the cave and began working on the buttons of his robe.

Charlie knew better than to argue. He didn't understand the effect of the moon, but he'd seen the changes in Remus. Nothing really noticeable, but after having spent a few weeks in close contact with the man, he'd learn to recognise what was 'normal' behaviour and what wasn't. Brusque answers, short temper, and irritations were most certainly not normal behaviour, and yet Charlie had seen it, and done his best to ignore.

Now, he cast the spells, effectively blocking Remus inside and stepped farther away, but still close enough to be able to see the wolf if it came near the entrance.

Charlie watched the moon rise in the sky, his hand going instinctually to his wand. Then it started. He couldn't truly see Remus. It was a game of chiaroscuro that played like a Muggle horror movie. Remus's screams covered most of the noises, but in the background he could hear bones breaking, too loud ever for the howls to cover it.

Then it ended!

He took a few steps closer, confident that the potion had worked, certain that the spells would keep Remus there, and yet there was a certain tremor in his voice when he called out, "Remus? Remus, are you all right?"

Remus lay very still, panting raggedly, the pain of the transformation leaving him aching and drained. His limbs felt as if they'd come apart and his chest burned as he tried to get enough air into his lungs. He was aware of the cool dirt beneath his belly and of the slight echoes that his whimpers made on the walls of the cave. And beyond that, he could hear Charlie's voice.

He sighed and let himself relax for a moment, relieved that the potion had indeed worked. It had been months since he'd last been able to keep his human mind during the transformation and it felt wonderful to be in control once again.

Pulling himself to his feet, he padded forward, limping slightly. He stopped for a moment, stretching his body and shaking slightly, huffing through his nose before moving slowly forward and into the moonlight that was streaming into the mouth of the cave.

Charlie watched the wolf with eerie detachment. He mentally judged its size, its weight, how fast it would be able to run on those legs, how big its mouth was and how much pressure its jaws had. It took only a moment to internalise all of this information, just like he would with a dragon, but then something else hit him. This was not an 'it'; this was a 'he'. It was Remus.

He took another step, watching to see for a reaction, but the wolf - Remus - stayed were he was, looking back, intelligence showing through his eyes. Charlie grinned. "Potion worked, I see. I told you Helga is bloody good at Potions."

Still carefully holding his wand, he crouched in front of Remus, the invisible barrier still separating them. "If you agree, I'd like to take you somewhere more comfortable. There is no sense staying here, when you can use a mattress and some warmth. It gets really cold here. Do you want to?"

Remus walked toward the barrier and sat back on his haunches, cocking his head to the side and staring at Charlie. He didn't like the idea of being let out, but the potion _had_ worked, and he knew that he wouldn't hurt Charlie. And it had been a very long time since he'd been able to move around while he was in his wolf form. It would be nice to stretch his legs and the promise of something soft to sleep on was much too tempting to turn down. He barked once and nudged at the barrier with his nose.

"Good," Charlie said, grinning. " _Finite Incantatem_." He stepped away from the opening of the cave, letting Remus pass, unable to stop from brushing the fur with his fingers. "I've got my broom; I'll be close by." He wasn't afraid that Remus would hurt someone, but he didn't want to take a chance, not when there were wild dragons only kilometres away. "Go on, then; I'll be right behind you."

Charlie nodded in the direction of the camp and Remus gave another bark before trotting forward. The smells were different here, the grass different, the trees carrying a different scent. The moon was low on the horizon, rising slowly over the trees, a beacon against the dark countryside, and even with his mind intact Remus wanted to howl, wanted to follow the moon over the mountains, could feel the pull in his blood.

He lengthened his stride, running, turning in a circle to look above him, at Charlie flying close by, before pushing forward toward the camp, stretching his muscles and breathing deep as he ran hard.

It felt good to be free like this; it had been much, much too long. He stopped a few times to catch his breath, to explore the area, then running forward again, the lights of the camp much closer now.

Charlie flew low, close to the ground, swerving to avoid trees and other obstacles. The flying was always thrilling, had been since the day he'd mounted his first broom and it had yet to stop. On the ground, Remus seemed to be enjoying himself just as much as Charlie was. All in all, the night could have been a lot worse.

However, when they reached the outskirts of the camp, Charlie landed, and waited for Remus. It didn't take long before Remus arrived.

Charlie crouched again, and raked the fur with his fingers before he could think what he was doing. "See, I might be stubborn, but this was better than being locked up in that cave. We'll go to our tent now, okay? I don't know if you eat or anything, but... I guess we'll figure it out." He stood up again. "Come on, you can answer me when we get there, this way you want wake anyone up."

Remus trotted ahead, stopping every bit to make sure Charlie could keep up. The camp was quiet, and when they reached Charlie's tent, he nosed his way past the flap and walked inside, Charlie following close behind.

He couldn't remember ever being with another person when he was transformed. Sure he'd been with James and Sirius and Peter, but only when they were transformed as well. And Charlie... well, he was acting as if it were nothing out of the ordinary to have a werewolf in his home.

Remus sat down by the door, panting slightly, and watched Charlie as he moved around the tent.

Charlie waved his wand, and the flaps separating the living area with their sleeping area rolled up and were tied by magical ropes. "You can use the cot or the couch, whatever is comfortable for you," he said as he boiled so water for his tea.

Then he turned to face Remus. "What would you like?" He hummed for a moment. "Yes or no answers would be better, wouldn't they? All right, let's start. You must be thirsty; do you want water?" Charlie laughed when he saw the energetic nods. It was so incongruous to see such a scary animal behaving like a normal dog, and yet Charlie kept in mind that there was a man inside that being, and things could turn very different at any moment.

"All right, water it is," he continued in a normal tone. "I don't exactly keep dog dishes, so we'll have to make do." With a few bangs, he found a wide and low pot. "This should do just fine." He filled the pot with fresh water and he sat it near the couch.

Charlie prepared his tea, and sat on the couch, his eyes never leaving the wolf. "You know, I've gotten so used to having you around that I don't know what I'll do all night. I _could_ talk to you. I bet you're a better conversationalist even as a werewolf than I normally am. I could read; there is still that essay about the uses of dragon scales that I'm trying to finish, but that's so boring, I'll probably fall asleep in two minutes. I'm dreadful, aren't I? You can make fun of my lack of verbal skills when you change back, but for now, I really do wish you'd get comfortable. It's not right you have to suffer needlessly."

Remus went to the pot of water and drank thirstily as Charlie sat nearby. He could sense no fear from the man, but he was not sure about getting too close. Or about using his furniture. He eyed Charlie sceptically, but at his further prodding, Remus stepped forward and crawled up onto the couch, careful to stay at the far end, and careful that his claws didn't puncture the material. He settled down and rested his head on his front paws, his face pointed toward Charlie's legs.

It was odd being here like this, being treated as if he were human. Odd... but not at all unwelcome.

Charlie stared at those brown eyes, and then leaned to scratch behind his ears. "Are you all right? I wish I knew what I could do to make this easier. You really should tell people what to do instead of focusing on all the terrible things that could happen. You do have people who stay with you in London, don't you? You said there were, but I think you were lying, or at least not being completely honest. You're more afraid of this than I am, and you wouldn't be if you had stayed with people before."

The touch became long strokes as he continued to ramble. It was mad, he told himself, because Remus would remember all inane things he had said, and yet, it wasn't embarrassing to talk to a wolf. "You're so quiet, not now, of course, but always. I thought about it, you know, and I think it's all the secrets you've been keeping. It's not just being a werewolf, you don't tell people what that really means, do you? It's easier to hide behind a smile. Mum would probably tell you that it's wrong, but what does she know?

"I understand that some things you just can't say." Charlie sighed. "Nothing as bad as being a werewolf, although sometimes I think it might be. We come from a large family, everyone gets married early, it's like they can't wait to get out of Hogwarts so they can start having children. Mum asks if I've met someone. I wonder what she'd say that there was a nice bloke I liked, but we broke up. Instead, I write, and tell her stories. She's happy, then she's sad when I tell her about the imaginary break ups, but at least they keep her off my back." He looked down at Remus. "You really don't want to hear all of this, do you? You're probably regretting not staying in the cave."

Remus leaned into his touch. He wasn't used to physical attention, not even when he wasn't a wolf, but this felt... nice. He listened to Charlie, making a low rumble in his chest at the attention. His voice was nice, soft and even, and Remus relaxed as he talked.

Charlie was entirely right about Remus having no one in London. He didn't let anyone that close, hadn't for quite some time. He was glad he didn't have to answer, but he quite liked listening to Charlie and he looked up when Charlie finished speaking, watching him for a moment, before scuffling forward and laying his head across Charlie's thigh.

Charlie chuckled. "Well, I guess you don't have a problem with me liking blokes. Then again, most people would say that my problem isn't being gay as much as the fact that I'm insane. I take too many risks, they say. It started when I played Quidditch, and now with the dragons... imagine what they'd say if they could see me sitting down talking to a werewolf. They don't know that I'm really a coward. I still haven't gotten the courage to tell my parents."

His head lolled back, and he closed his eyes. His fingers were buried in the thick fur, and he moved them in short, slow strokes, calming motions. "I wonder what you think. Or maybe you'll run away the moment you change. That's all right, though. I'd understand. People do start acting strangely when they find out. Well not everyone, around here, everyone is really accepting."

Remus whined softly and nudged Charlie's thigh with his nose. If he could have spoken, he would have told him that he was hardly in a position to judge someone. That had to be obvious. Besides, he and Charlie had more in common that he'd previously thought.

He could hear it in Charlie's voice that he was more than ready to accept the expected reaction, that he was prepared for Remus to act as if something were wrong with him. Remus knew the feeling all too well. He looked up at Charlie's face, relaxed for once, his eyes close, his lashes dark against his cheeks. He whined again, hoping Charlie would understand that he was more than happy to be where he was right now.

"Prejudiced pricks, all of them, I know. That's what you mean, isn't it?" Charlie smiled. "I told you you're a great conversationalist even when you can't speak." He sighed again. "You know it's time for me to go to bed. You might want to do the same. We'll both wake up... when the moon sets, and I don't want to hear any excuses. You can sleep in your bed." He stroked Remus's fur once more, before standing up. "Time to get some rest."

Remus stood and shook himself before following to the back of the tent. He jumped up onto the cot and curled up, watching as Charlie prepared for bed. The moon was high overhead, he could feel it through the tent walls, and he buried his snout against the sheets, letting his eyes fall shut as Charlie extinguished the lights. He didn't understand the young man, but it didn't matter. Tonight he was warm and safe and he was so very grateful. Charlie's breathing was the only sound in the room and Remus let it lull him to sleep.

* * *

The pain was what woke him, a deep ache in his bones, his flesh feeling too tight and he fought the urge to run from it. There was no where to go, and anyway, he'd never be able to outrun the pull of the moon.

He growled at first, a low rumble, before the noises turned to a high pitched whine. And then... it was upon him. He had about a second to worry about waking Charlie, about frightening him, before his skin began to stretch, bones snapping sickly, hair receding, and his agonized howls slowly turned to screams.

Charlie woke up with a start. No one could have slept through the horrible sounds that Remus was making. He sat up, trying to think what he should, what he could do to minimise the pain, and yet, he knew it was futile. He stared, frustration building at his uselessness, and then as quickly as it had started, it ended and Remus lay on the coat.

He got up, standing by the side of Remus's bed. He looked exhausted and in pain. Gently, he pulled the blanket to cover him. Charlie crouched, brushing Remus's hair away from his face. "Is there anything I can do for you? A healing spell, perhaps? I know it won't fix everything, but... tell me what to do, Remus."

Remus shook his head, letting his eyes close at Charlie's gentle touch. He wasn't bleeding this time, the potion had made sure of that, but he was sore, terribly sore. "There's nothing to heal," he said shakily, grateful that Charlie had covered him. "I'm sorry you had to see... there's nothing, just sleep."

He opened his eyes to see Charlie's worried face and he felt horrible for worrying him. He shouldn't have had to watch that. "Do you... a mild pain potion helps with the soreness. There's really nothing else. I'm simply tired."

"You don't have to apologise, Remus." Charlie covered Remus's hand with his. "Let me go to the infirmary, and get you a potion. I won't be long, and then you can go to sleep."

He Apparated to the infirmary, not wanting to waste any time. Pain potions were almost as common as potions for burns, and he had no problem finding one. He returned to the tent within minutes. Charlie sat on the cot. "Let me help you." He wrapped an arm around Remus and practically pulled him into a sitting position. "Drink this, and then you can rest."

The potion felt cool against his raw throat, instantly making it easier to swallow. He sighed and relaxed as the pain in his muscles and joints began to dull.

"I can't thank you enough." He took another breath, this one easier. Charlie's arm was strong around him and he tilted his face to look at him. He was much too close. His lips were right there, close enough that Remus could feel his warm breath across his lips and he looked up into worried blue eyes. "I... I'm all right, Charlie. This one was easy. Because of your help."

Charlie wondered why they weren't all easy. Why Dumbledore hadn't taken steps so that Remus would receive help during the full moon? The fact that Remus accepted it so readily made it even worse. He smiled a sad smile. "I haven't done much."

Remus seemed to disagree, and Charlie rested two fingers against his lips. "Shh, I don't need your thanks," he said, before realising just how close they were, how intimate their position was. Remus would have probably moved away if he could have, after his little confession.

He tried again, smiling for Remus's benefit. "I'm going to help you lie down. Gently."

Remus stilled under his touch. When was the last time he'd been this close to another man? There was only a thin barrier separating their chests and Remus shivered slightly at his proximity. "You've done more than I can likely ever tell you."

Charlie was careful as he reclined him back against the pillow and Remus didn't think before reaching up to touch his face, sun-peppered skin beneath his fingers, his hand smoothing further up into thick, fiery-red hair. He couldn't seem to make himself speak, and what could he say? The young man was beautiful, and he knew it had to be pity, but he was tired and not thinking properly and it was all right to pretend, just for a moment. He curled his fingers into Charlie's hair and gently pulled him down, just brushing their lips together.

His eyes fluttered closed as their lips met for the briefest moment. Charlie pulled back, staring at Remus, searching for confusion or even disgust, but when he found none, he leaned down again, teasing Remus's lips with his, his tongue caressing the chopped skin.

After a moment, Charlie pulled back, sighing. "You're tired." _You don't know what you're doing_. "You need to rest."

Remus smiled sadly. Charlie wouldn't be interested in someone like him, he knew this. But it had been nice having such attention. It had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to be taken care of.

He let his hand fall to his side and relaxed into the pillow, already missing the close contact. "Thank you," he said again, licking his lips, still able to taste Charlie.

Charlie rested a hand on Remus's cheek, his thumb moving over his lips. "Don't mention it. Now, get some sleep." He leaned down, for another quick kiss, and then stayed there until Remus fell asleep.

* * *

When Charlie left for work in the morning, Remus was still asleep. He doubted that the werewolf would wake up any time soon. Instead, he had breakfast quietly, and left.

He returned for lunch; he saw that some things had been moved, but Remus was back in bed. Charlie made lunch for two, and left a bowl of soup on a little table by Remus's bed.

Finally, after a day of work, he returned to his tent. The living area was dark, but a small light filtered from their sleeping quarters. "Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked standing by the entrance.

Remus smiled at him and lifted himself up against the pillows. He was embarrassed with the way he'd behaved. He shouldn't have let Charlie close to him while he was changed, potion or not, it was reckless. And he wasn't even going to think about the kiss.

"I'm feeling much better, thank you. I appreciate the soup from earlier." He sighed. "I appreciate everything. The change exhausts me, even with the potion. I should be more active tomorrow. At least you won't have to wait on me." He tilted his head and watched Charlie closely. "Are you all right? Watching that... I didn't want you to see that. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. Really, it's no bother." He stared at the floor for a moment, and then raised his eyes again. "I should be the one apologising. I shouldn't have taken certain liberties... I don't usually go around petting people, you know? And I know that it was still you even if... and telling you all those things, then that kiss.... You can kick my arse if that makes you feel better, but you can't tell anyone, please... my parents mustn't know."

Remus frowned and sat up. "There's nothing wrong with being attracted to men, Charlie," he said gently. "And I know your parents... I can't see Molly or Arthur pushing you away because of it." It made his chest ache that this young man was so nervous over something that... should have felt quite natural to him. "Don't worry, I'd never tell anyone. That information is personal and yours alone to share with others. Besides, what would I say? 'Yes, Molly, I took advantage of your son's kindness and tried to lure him into my bed.' I'm not insane, you know? There'd be nothing left when she was done with me." Remus smiled at him once more. "And I liked the petting."

Charlie chuckled. "You really must not be good at this if you think that last night qualified as taking advantage, but you're right about Mum. She'd kill us both." He took a few steps, standing by the footboard. "Does this mean that if I sit on the bed, and try kissing you again, you'll lure me into bed? Because if it does, I might not get around to making dinner."

"I'm not very hungry," Remus said softly. This was a mistake, this was a horrible, awful mistake, but Charlie was so lovely and young and was smiling at him, and Remus couldn't have said no if his life depended on it.

He shifted forward as Charlie gingerly sat beside of him, and he reached to touch Charlie's face again, letting his fingers slide down over his throat, feeling Charlie's heartbeat steady against his fingertips. "Beautiful," he whispered, pulling him forward, and this time the kiss was less tentative, more sure, and Remus moved his lips against Charlie's, moaning softly.

Charlie cupped the back of Remus's head, while they lay down against the pillows, their lips never separating. A part of him screamed at him to stop. Remus was weak, probably confused. He shouldn't take advantage of the situation. Another part, a bigger part, pointed out that Remus was an adult and had made his choice.

He didn't even know why he was doing it. Maybe it was just sex, and maybe he'd learnt to like Remus during their short time together: the small touches, the looks that now acquired a different meaning. He decided that the reasons weren't as important as the warm tongue sliding against his, and he sucked on it gently, while he touched Remus's chest, his fingers tracing the scarred flesh with more care.

Oh, _Christ_ it felt so perfect to be this close to Charlie. His body was firm, muscular, strong and young, his hands slightly rough and calloused, burning where they brushed against his skin.

So much life, so much beauty, Charlie was gorgeous and Remus felt completely self conscious beside of him. But he pushed these feelings aside, opting to pull the young man closer, pressing their bodies flush together and sliding one knee forward to press firmly between Charlie's thighs.

Charlie's denims were soft and worn and Remus' fingers slid over his hip, up beneath his shirt to the hard muscles on his belly. The fact that Charlie wasn't running away, wasn't cringing at his touch, spurred him forward and he tried not to think about anything else but the soft sounds that Charlie made against his lips.

Between touches and kisses, Charlie found himself straddling Remus, his hand on the back of the man's head, keeping him close, as hungrily he explored Remus's mouth. His hand roamed over Remus's skin, teasing a nipple into hardness. He heard a gasp, and he pulled back for a moment, worry filling him. "Will you be all right? It isn't too soon, is it?"

Remus shook his head, guiding Charlie's face back to his, pressing their lips together once more. "It isn't too soon," he whispered, trying to assuage his doubts. Not that he would actually know if it was too soon or not. He didn't normally have attractive young men in his bed right after the change, or at any other time. He was never afforded such sweet attentions and he certainly wasn't about to push him away.

His hands pushed up underneath Charlie's shirt, shifting it up his back, hands splayed wide over shifting muscles and heat. "Off," he rumbled, wanting more skin, and more warmth, and he licked along the shell of Charlie's ear, moving his lips down across his throat.

Charlie chuckled at the impatient tone. "You must let go for a moment." He pulled back, enough to pull the shirt over his head. His eyes stayed on Remus, a promising smile on his face as he leaned down to unlace his boots.

He stood up, unbuckling his belt, and he could feel Remus's gaze burning into him. He pressed his hand against his crotch, sighing at the brief relief before unbuttoning his denims. He couldn't look away from Remus's face and the hungry look on his face as Charlie unzipped his trousers, and then he pushed everything down, letting them pool on the floor. He stepped out of them, and sat down again, pushing the blanket to the side. "Better?" he asked as he leaned for another kiss.

Remus replied with a growl and slid his hand back into Charlie's hair, pulling him down. He groaned as their lips met. So much soft, warm _skin_. He was dizzy from it, from Charlie's scent, from his taste. His hands roamed over Charlie's body, unhampered by clothing now, his body silently begging for more.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered roughly, tugging Charlie's head back in order to lap at his throat. "What do you want?" His hand slid down that hard stomach, feeling the contours, lower through coarse pubic hair. Charlie's cock was hard against his belly, thick and hot, and Remus closed his fingers around him, moaning again at the way he seemed to throb in his hand.

Charlie's hips moved with their own accord, driving his cock into Remus's fist. Charlie had to close his eyes, willing himself to stop. When he spoke, his voice was lower, guttural, showing just how much he wanted this. "You tell me. What's too much for you?"

He raised his head, while his fingers dug into Remus's hair. "I want you to enjoy this, Remus, but I don't know what would hurt. I'm game for anything." He sealed this pledge with another kiss.

It was all too much. Charlie's acceptance, his worry, his eagerness. Remus was reeling.

Pushing Charlie onto his back he knelt above him, taking in the picture he made, naked and hard against the sheets. He lowered his head, nudging Charlie's face to the side and starting at his neck. Small kisses, soft licks, teeth sinking into firm flesh, gentle, oh yes, Remus wanted to memorize him. His nipples were hard, pebbled, and he took one into his mouth, sucking carefully as he took the other in hand, twisting and tugging gently.

Charlie's body moved against him as he made his way lower, his mouth mapping a trail across his torso, salt and sweat against his tongue. Wrapping his fingers around Charlie's hips to hold him still, he fucked his navel with his tongue, licking him thoroughly, before moving down to press a kiss against the spongy head of his cock. Precome coated his lips and he licked them, the taste going straight to his groin, before parting his lips and letting Charlie slip just inside.

A feeble protest died on Charlie's lips, as Remus made his way down Charlie's body. He hadn't expected this, hadn't thought that Remus would have had the strength to move, but obviously he was wrong, and he would not complain, not when a warm mouth surrounded his cock.

Charlie looked down, unable to take the eyes off from those lips closing around his cock, his cheeks hollowing as Remus sucked him in. " _Fuck_...." He wasn't sure what else he wanted to say, words running together faster than he could let them out, and he knew he wouldn't last long, not with Remus paying so much attention, so much care. All so different from the one night stands that were the norm for him. He spread his legs, feet set on the cot, and he arched toward Remus. "God, Remus...please."

"Please what?" Remus asked softly, pulling back and mouthing his way over Charlie's shaft. He pressed his lips against Charlie's balls, tonguing them as he laid his hands on those firm thighs and pushed them farther apart. Charlie smelled so fucking _strong_ here... masculine and musky. Remus wanted to wallow in it, to be able to smell and taste him for _days_. Sliding his mouth back up, he took him deep, relaxing his throat and sinking down over his length. His fingers delved into his shadowy cleft, touching and petting, teasing across the soft puckered skin, pressing firmly but not moving to actually penetrate as his tongue worked along the underside of his cock.

"That's... God, that's good..." It was the best he could do as he tried to answer Remus's simple question. His body gave its own answers. His knees fell open, his hips bucked up, and into Remus's mouth, and then pressing down, searching for that finger that was teasing his opening. "Inside." Fingers, cock, he needed something, anything.

That... that... was just too perfect for words. Charlie's body was spread beneath him and his jaw ached and his throat was sore and he couldn't get enough. He hadn't been able to wring such sweet sounds from a lover in longer than he cared to think about. It was sublime.

He let Charlie's cock fall from his lips and he moved down, his face pressed behind Charlie's sack, mouth moving, sucking, slurping against baby-soft skin. Sliding his hands up under that tight arse he lifted, groaning with pleasure as his tongue slipped over his opening. He tasted dark, bitter, beautiful and Remus pointed his tongue, spearing into him, fucking him, wetting him, humming against the soft inner skin of his cleft.

His own prick throbbed against the sheets and he rutted, needing the relief, unable to stop his own body as he slid a finger inside beside of his tongue. Charlie's thighs were trembling and Remus moved up once more, pressing his finger in so deep, as he took that dripping cock into his throat.

He'd never expected the quiet and reserved Remus Lupin to be so eager, so open. His mouth and hands being everywhere at once, touching, licking, building Charlie's orgasm slowly, stealing gasps and moans as a finger and then a tongue breached him, made him want more. He was rambling, nonsense spilling out as he fucked himself on Remus's fingers, not even knowing the second one had pushed in. Then, Remus's fingers curled inside him, and his body vibrated with need. Charlie fisted the sheets, trying to still his hips, not to drive into the hot mouth.

"Close..." Then those fingers found his prostate again, and he couldn't stop, spilling warm come in Remus's mouth, he sucked him dry, leaving him sated, and relaxed, and still it wasn't enough. He looked down, brown eyes staring at him. "Fuck me."

"Oh, _God_ ," Remus whispered, crawling up his body to kiss him, the bitter taste of Charlie's come sliding between their tongues. He didn't ask if he was sure, those eyes had said it all, and he grabbed his wand, shifting up and pointing it at his cock. Charlie was panting beneath him and the slick lubrication covering his cock was almost enough to send him over the edge. Fuck, he was never going to last. Not with Charlie's legs spread wide, with his chest heaving against his own.

He held Charlie's eyes and lined himself up, the tip of his cock nudging against his stretched opening. Catching himself on his palms, he pushed in completely in one firm stroke. _Oh_ , so fucking tight, so goddamn hot; Charlie's body seemed to completely envelop him, taking his breath away.

"All right?" he managed, his voice shaking.

"Brilliant," he gasped. Charlie wrapped his legs around Remus, pulling him closer, driving him deeper into his body. He reached up, carding Remus's hair and pulled him closer, their lips meeting, crashing, teeth clanking, slowing down only when he remembered that cuts were probably not a good idea, still he didn't stop, his tongue moving against Remus's in a slow dance that mimicked the movements of his hips. "Move, Remus; fuck me hard," he said, panting heavily.

Remus pulled back and shoved in hard at his command. Charlie's arse clenched around him, pulling him in deep, deeper, and he slid out again, only to fuck into him harder the second time. Sliding his hands under Charlie's shoulders, he held on, digging his fingers into his flesh. Sweat rolled down his forehead, and he swiped his tongue inside that mouth, balls deep, bottoming out again and again. The pace was frenzied, rough, and he didn't hold back. His body protested, but his prick seemed to have other ideas, burrowing deeper inside the tight flesh, his hips moving of their own accord now, tighter, harsher, jabbing inside of him, his control slipping away with each exquisite entrenchment.

Charlie urged him on, cupping Remus's arse and pulling their bodies together, meeting every thrust, clenching around Remus's cock, feeling the thick prick throb inside him.

Then, the rhythm sped up, and Charlie watched attentively, not wanting to miss the moment, seeing it on Remus's face a split moment before he felt hot come filling him, and he held onto Remus's arms during those last, few thrusts, and then Remus sagged against him. Charlie petted him, his hands tracing Remus's spine with the softest touch. "I'm not being a very good host, am I? You're supposed to be resting," he said with a light tone.

Remus gave a breathless laugh. "I... you've been... very good... I..." He stopped to catch his breath, resting his head on Charlie's shoulder. "Eloquent. Sorry." He lifted his head with effort and smiled down at him. "Rest is overrated," he said simply, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. He groaned as his cock began to soften and slip free. "I didn't mean to be so rough." His voice was a low rumble as he whispered into the kiss. "Did I hurt you?"

"You're joking, right? You didn't hurt me; I'm fine; you weren't rough, and I'm quite proud of my ability of rendering a man speechless," Charlie said, but the levity was gone. "You truly are all right, aren't you? I probably should move, and let you rest. I can make you something to eat, would you like that?" _God,_ he'd turned into his mother. "I'm being stupid, I know, but I don't want you hurt, and this probably wasn't the smartest idea. We could have waited until the morning, it's not like we were going anywhere, and do you know that growing up there was always someone talking at the Burrow, I think we don't like the silence, so yes, are you okay?"

Remus laughed again. "I'm fine. You've worn me out, but it was entirely worth it." He grabbed his wand and cast a spell to widen the cot. He looked at Charlie and brushed his hair back from his brow. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry. I would like it if you'd agree to sleep here. Unless you're not comfortable with that?" He wasn't sure what either of them was doing, but it was late and he was exhausted and he felt wonderful. He'd worry about it later.

"I like it when you laugh. You don't do it enough," he murmured. "Of course I'll stay." Remus didn't need to know that Charlie rarely had people here, always too worried about what the other keepers would say. Not that he'd kept it a secret from them, but out of sight, out of mind, and he'd learned to wait until he had a free night and could Apparate to one of the wizarding towns, or more often a Muggle one, to find a willing bloke.

Charlie kissed Remus's cheek, before settling his head next to Remus's. "Good night."

"Good night," Remus said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Charlie's forehead.

He wasn't used to sleeping with another person, but this was nice. More than. He rolled into Charlie and pulled him close, relieved when he didn't pull away. Exhaustion seemed to consume him but it wasn't crippling as it normally was. He was tired, sated, and safe and it was very easy to close his eyes and fall asleep in Charlie's arms.

* * *

The time passed as it had before. They ate their meals together, Charlie would share about his work, they would talk about the dragons, potions, and people. The real difference was at night. The two cots had become one, bigger to accommodate both of them. Neither questioned the arrangement, each too afraid to shake this unexpected situation.

However, things couldn't stay the same forever. Eventually, another owl arrived, and Remus met the werewolves once more. It was inevitable, Charlie knew that. Remus couldn't stay here forever.

He waited up, knowing that the next morning he'd be exhausted, but unable to fall asleep. He was sitting on the couch, when Remus returned from his meeting. He wanted to ask how it went, if they would support the Order, if he had achieved whatever Dumbledore wanted him to do. Instead, the only words that came out were, "Will you have to leave, now?"

Remus smiled sadly and moved to sit on the couch beside of him. The meeting had gone very well, and he should have been excited to have their backing, to have gained their support.

He didn't feel excited.

Reaching out he touched Charlie's face, tracing his fingers over the soft skin of his cheek, freckled and sun-darkened, and entirely lovely. "Yes," he said softly. "I'll owl Dumbledore tomorrow. This is... this is good news for the Order and he will want me back there. There are other groups to target, some that will be harder than this. No one else can talk to them."

"I know. I didn't think you'd remain here." He hadn't thought about Remus leaving either, trying to ignore that fact. "I wish..." That he could go back with Remus? But that wasn't true. He dreaded the idea of returning to England, having to lie to everyone, to pretend to be something he wasn't, to listen to his mother talk about daughters in law and grandchildren. No, England was not something he wished for.

Charlie kissed Remus, a gentle meeting of lips, before resting his forehead against Remus's cheek. "Will you come and visit me? You know you're always welcome here, and Helga said that she'll make the potion, if you'd like."

"Of course," Remus said at once. He didn't understand what was going on with them. He was much too old for Charlie, he was too worn; he wasn't even able to hold a job. He wasn't what Charlie needed, but for the life of him, he couldn't have told him no. He didn't want to.

He kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Charlie's shoulders, squeezing his eyes shut and inhaling deeply. The thought of not being able to remember his scent, or the feel of his hair against his cheek, made something twist inside of his chest.

Tightening his hold on Charlie, he opened his mouth to the kiss, pulling back after a few endless moments. "I doubt you could stop me from coming to visit."

"Good, because I don't want to stop you." Charlie's fingers found their way between the buttons of Remus's robe, touching the warm body he had got to know well in the past few days. "I can come to England on my days off, but no one can know. Mum would kill me if she knew that I were there and didn't even say 'hello', except that hellos in my family take hours, and I'd rather spend them with you."

Remus felt another pang at that. He didn't agree with Charlie's hiding himself from his family. He'd spent too many years hiding what he was, afraid of people's reactions. Charlie had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of; it wasn't a disease.

But it wasn't his place and even if it needed to be said, now wasn't the time to say it. He wanted to hold him close, to make love to him, to try and forget about the world for a while, and the fact that very soon this life that he'd grown so very used to would be gone.

"I'd love you coming to visit. I suppose I can share with your family occasionally."

"I'm all yours, at least for tonight." This had happened too fast, and Charlie still didn't understand what he was feeling, why suddenly it wasn't the sex he was looking forward to, but falling asleep with Remus, and now Remus would leave and understanding his feelings wouldn't be important anymore. Soon, there would be no confusion, no wondering, but Charlie doubted it would be better.

Charlie stood up, taking Remus's hand. "I believe a goodbye shag is mandatory, and we shouldn't break such longstanding rules," Charlie said with a levity he did not feel.

Remus followed him, squeezing his hand, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Clothes seemed to melt off of them and hands and lips moved over warm flesh and for a while, Remus forgot everything but the young man moving against him. He didn't let himself think about tomorrow.

* * *

Dumbledore asked Remus to return as soon as he received the owl. It was exactly what they had expected, but in the end, being prepared didn't make it any easier.

Charlie went on with his work, pretending that those few weeks hadn't happened. It was easier than to wait for Remus to come back or to write. He thought he was doing a pretty good job, too, until, after ten days, Helga approached him.

"Have you spoken to Remus since he left?" she asked.

Charlie shook his head. "He'll be back when he can."

She rolled her eyes. "Men are all idiots, did you know that? Well, they are. Charlie, write him, or go to him, but stop walking around, brooding. You're getting on people's nerves."

"Is this your version of a pep talk, love?" he asked, smiling.

"No, that's me telling you to stop being a twat." She hugged him. "Maybe, he's more than a string of one-nights, but you'll never know if you don't talk to him." She kissed his cheek and left without another word.

That night, after finishing his chores, Charlie went back to his tent alone. He found a parchment, and began to write.

_Dear Remus,_

_I'm not sure what to say. I don't usually write people, but Helga threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't. Okay, she didn't, but she mentioned that I'm brooding, and that men are idiots and that I should write. I've learned never to argue with her._

_Are you in London or off somewhere else? You don't have to tell me if you can't. Wherever you are, I hope you're among friends._

_Here things are still the same. Helga and I have nicked the ingredients we need to make the Wolfsbane for this month, but no one at the ministry will ever figure it out, so don't worry._

_Can you tell I'm not good at this? Mum says I'm horrible, but then she compensates by writing everything that happens. Feel free to do the same, or ignore me completely. I'd understand._

_I'd better go. I hope to see you soon._

_Charlie_

* * *

England was dreary, the atmosphere tense with fear. Sirius had seemed pleased to have him back for a day or so, before he reverted back to his brooding.

Remus found himself missing Charlie's easy demeanour. He missed the way he smiled when Remus said something that wasn't even that amusing really. He missed the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he felt in his arms.

He was glad when Dumbledore sent him on another assignment. At least it was something, something to take his mind off of the fact that he wouldn't be going home to a small tent with joined cots and Charlie.

The young werewolf he'd been meeting with was definitely not interested in supporting anyone other than the group of werewolves he was involved in. Remus thought it was the group he'd been looking for and it would take a lot of effort and time to be able to situate himself inside the group.

It seemed an impossible task and Charlie's letter had been a welcome distraction. He felt a familiar pang in his chest as he imagined Charlie's voice behind the words. He wasted no time in replying.

_Charlie,_

_It's good to hear from you. I don't think that you're horrible at corresponding, not at all. I am in London at the moment. I seem to be in and out quite a bit. Dumbledore has found a contact that could prove useful. I will relay everything in person. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are willing to help me with the Wolfsbane. I cannot repay you for your kindness._

_I'd like to see you. For more than just the moon. Perhaps I can come a few days early? I won't be able to stay terribly long, but at least I could spend some time with you._

_Yours,  
Remus_

* * *

It hadn't taken long to get a response, considering the distance the owls had to travel. Helga had sat next to him as he opened the letter.

"So he answered," she said without even looking at the letter.

"Do you have powers I should know about?" Charlie asked, grinning madly.

She snorted. "I don't need any powers; your smile tells me what I want to know. Will he come back?"

Charlie nodded.

"Well, good, because I don't want to waste my time making the potion for no one." She nudged his shoulder with hers. "What are you doing still here? Go answer him, I'll cover for you. Oh, and tell him I said hello."

"It'd be useless to point out that I can do it later, right? All right, I'm going." He kissed the top of her hair as he stood up. "I'll be back soon." However when he got to his tent, he read and reread the letter, not knowing how to reply. He didn't like writing, things never came out quite the way he meant, but he forced himself to answer.

_Remus,_

_You don't have to repay me. It's what friends do for each other, right? In fact, it's what decent human beings should do for each other. I could point out that you've repaid me more than enough, but I still haven't figured out if that make you the whore or me, so I won't say anything. (In case it wasn't clear, it was a joke, but then again, I warned you that I'm rubbish at this writing thing)._

_You can come (and I'm not thinking of you naked, fucking me, when I write that, certainly not), whenever you want. It'd be good if you could stay a few days after the full moon as well. You're in no condition to travel if last month was anything to go by._

_Waiting impatiently (I'm a redhead),  
Charlie_

* * *

The days seemed to drag by and Charlie's letter gave him something to look forward to. It amazed him how quickly he'd become accustomed to the young man. Charlie had gotten under his skin in a way that Remus hadn't experienced in a very long time.

For the first time in many years, Remus found himself not dreading the full moon.

_Charlie,_

_You're a good friend. Thank you. I'll be there in another week. Please thank Helga for me._

_I seem to recall that I was fairly capable after the last full moon. I may need to remind you. Repeatedly._

_I have no problem whatsoever with you thinking of such things. I'd like to know that you have been, in fact. I certainly have._

_Yours,  
Remus_

* * *

Charlie thought about answering the latest missive, but with travelling time, he was pretty sure that Remus would not get the message in time. So he carefully folded the message, and saved it with the other one, and then waited, and waited.

He was out on the field, flying with the other keepers, trying to bring down one of the dragon, when Helga accosted him with a grin on her face.

"Guess who I saw going into your tent?" She chuckled when she saw the confusion followed by a smile on Charlie's face. "Go. I'll bring the dragon down, we both know I'm the better flyer anyway."

"Fuck off," Charlie answered, laughing.

"I'm not the one doing the fucking tonight," she answered back, and then she was off, flying after the dragon.

Charlie didn't fly back, instead he Apparated, broom still in hand, right inside the tent. He found Remus coming out of their sleeping area; he probably had put away his things. Charlie laid the broomstick against a corner of the tent, before approaching the other man. "Hello... missed you," he said as he closed the gap. Then his hands were on Remus's face, and his lips on the werewolf's. "Welcome back."

Remus sighed against his lips, arms winding round his waist and pulling him flush against his body. It took everything he had to pull back from the other man long enough to speak.

"God, it's good to see you. How have you been?"

It felt familiar to have him close again. Suddenly the past few weeks seemed to melt away and he lowered his head to kiss Charlie's throat. "I didn't mean to pull you away from your work, but I'm glad you're here."

"They'll survive without me for a while." Charlie kissed him back, throat, jaw, cheek, any place he could reach. "I'm much better now that you're here." The simple truth spilled out without rational thought, still not enough to explain all that he was feeling. "Come, let's sit down, you can tell me about your mission, London, your friends, have you seen my parents? Wait, are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?" He slowed down, leaning against Remus. "You're horrid when it comes to taking care of yourself, love. I can spoil you while you're here."

Remus chuckled and sat beside of him. "I'm not hungry, thank you. You spoil me more than I deserve." He brought Charlie's hand to his lips and began answering his seemingly endless questions. "I saw Molly and Arthur last week. They are doing well, considering everything. They miss the kids, they miss you, and they're at Grimmauld place most of the time. Sirius is... well, he's as well as can be expected considering it's hard for him to be contained again. Azkaban was... it changed him. He's not the boy I once knew." Remus smiled sadly. "But I am grateful to have him back. I've been meeting with another werewolf. Apparently there's a large group in London and a very good chance they'll side with Voldemort. I'm to try and change their minds. It will take a while to get them to trust me."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. I don't see how anyone could not trust you." Charlie turned around on the couch, and framed Remus's body with his legs, pulling him against his chest. "Have you seen Bill? When you talk about Sirius, it's like me and Bill. We haven't really spent a lot of time together since we left school, but the bond we have is stronger than with the others. How is Fleur? Mum doesn't seem to like her much. Or at all. Mum doesn't seem to like Sirius much, but it's a different kind of dislike. I think she's afraid of what he could do. Is he all right?"

Charlie kissed Remus's cheek. "I'm asking too much, aren't I? But I want to know about you, and really, I hate writing, so I'll have to keep asking all the questions I have until you leave... or until you decide to fuck me."

Remus grinned and growled a bit at Charlie's suggestions. "I don't mind the questions at all." Most people didn't show this much interest in hearing him talk. "Werewolves aren't a trusted lot. We learn not to trust in return. It's difficult for them. They've not been afforded the same kindness that I have." He leaned against Charlie's chest and sighed, content for once. "Bill seems to be doing better than the rest. Of course that could be chalked up to having a beautiful blonde on his arm, who, by the way, seems to be just as happy. I think that Molly... she's just trying to protect her children. With Bill... she thinks it's very soon for it to be so serious. I think that's all that is. With Sirius? She and he don't see eye to eye on what Harry should know. Sirius goes about it wrong, but I do think there is merit in informing the boy. Molly's instincts to keep him safe make that difficult."

He tilted his head back for a kiss. "You should come and visit. They'd love to see you. And I'd love to have you there as well."

"You know I don't understand how anyone can allow things to go as they have been. That law about werewolves..." Charlie shook his head. "I've not seen anything so restrictive. Vampires and centaurs have more rights, and they aren't wizards, and- I'm preaching to the choir, I know, but I wish there was more that I could do."

He started to unbutton Remus's robe, his fingers touching naked skin. "I don't understand my mum. I thought she'd be ecstatic at the idea of marriage and children. She probably wanted a nice Gryffindor girl, but Bill has always been the rebel in the family," he said chuckling.

"If I come, it won't be like this. I won't be able to get you naked, and kiss you." He did just that. "And lick you." He tracked Remus's ear with his tongue. "I shall have to content myself with sitting across from you, watching you and Sirius make eyes to each other." They had never spoken about Sirius, or the type of relationship they had, but Charlie couldn't help but wonder. "But I'll come if you ask."

Remus smiled as Charlie talked, closing his eyes and listening to his voice. It felt good to be close to someone... to be close to _him_.

Charlie's comment about Sirius got his attention. He laid his hand over Charlie's and tilted his head back to look at him. "If I were involved with Sirius, do you really think I would be here doing this with you?" he asked gently. "I wouldn't do that to him. He was... my first real friend. He was the first friend who ever knew the truth about me. And he still wanted to be around me. I was blown away by him and James and Peter. I wouldn't be the person I am without him. But Sirius is very straight. And even if he weren't... there's too much between us. I'm not interested in Sirius."

"I didn't say you were involved with him," Charlie said with a grin. "You can still make eyes without being in a relationship." He kissed Remus's shoulder, keeping his head bowed. "What do you expect, Remus? I mean... what you said... people are involved and still fuck around, it happens a lot around here. Put a lot of young people in one place, night shifts, things happen...does it mean that you want monogamy?"

Remus shook his head. He hadn't meant to imply that at all, merely assuage Charlie's doubts... doubts that Charlie apparently didn't have. He grinned wryly at his mistake. "Of course not. I'd never ask that of you." But the thought of anyone else touching Charlie made his chest tighten. "I expect you to live your life, Charlie. You're too young to limit yourself."

He twined his fingers with Charlie's and rested his head against Charlie's shoulder.

Charlie stayed silent for a moment, but there were things he wanted to know, even if he wasn't sure why he was asking, when things were so simple at the moment. "Would you have sex with someone else?" he asked after a moment.

Remus nearly laughed. "You say that as if I have men beating down my door. I'm not a young man anymore." He was tired and old and some days he felt broken. And he hadn't answered Charlie's question. He was silent for a moment, contemplating how to answer and finally settling on the truth. "I don't have a desire to sleep with anyone else."

"Then, why would you have a different standard for me?" Charlie asked, knowing that he wouldn't like the answer, no matter what it was. "It hardly seems just, or right. I could understand if you considered this as something casual, but it doesn't sound like that. So you don't think that I'm capable of being faithful or that you are worth it. I'm not sure which is worse." He ran his fingers in Remus's hair. "In an ideal world, what would you want? If nothing else, tell me that."

"I consider this... new. We're both in different countries, we never see each other. It's not that I think you _can't_ be faithful, it's that I don't expect it, simply because it's a lot to ask with the distance between us." And because he still wasn't sure what was exactly going on with the two of them. "In a perfect world? Yes, I'd have you to myself. But I'd also see you more, and I'd be younger and I wouldn't have lycanthropy. Those things... they aren't going to happen."

"But you're not younger, you are a werewolf, and we do live in two different countries, and yet, I'm here." Charlie wrapped one arm around Remus, holding him tighter. "You often dismiss anything good that might happen to you, as if you don't deserve it, don't deserve to be treated like any other person, but don't do it with me. Don't turn me into one of those arseholes who can't understand what lycanthropy really is. I've made my choices, and I won't have you dismiss them so easily." He nuzzled Remus's neck, feeling the heartbeat under his lips. "I'll make it easier for you. I like being with you, and I want to see where this is taking us, regardless of the fact that we can't be together as much as we'd like. _I_ expect you to be faithful, just like I'll be faithful to you. Let's give this, whatever this is, a chance, and we can always change your minds later, yeah?"

"You are..." He turned in Charlie's arms until their chests were pressed together and he was lying between Charlie's thighs. "I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you." He leaned down to gently brush his lips against Charlie's. This was an extraordinarily bad idea. Charlie could say such lovely things, make him feel so bloody good, but the fact remained he was much too old and he had a disease that he never wanted Charlie hurt by.

He couldn't have said no for anything. "I can be faithful," he murmured against his lips. "We'll see where it takes us."

With a hand on the backrest and another on the armrest, he pushed himself up, and off the couch. He took Remus's hand, and pulled him up. "I'd say, it should take us to bed. You can show me just how much you've missed me," he said, with a wicked grin on his face. Charlie was sure that neither of them would get any rest any time soon.

* * *

The week they spent together was short, too short, but Charlie knew that it was beyond their control. Remus had a job to do, and the coming months would prove vital in opposing Voldemort. Charlie put a smile on his face, kissed Remus goodbye, and pretended that he didn't feel like hexing Dumbledore for forcing Remus to live like a nomad.

This time, he didn't wait for Helga's advice. He started writing the day after Remus's departure. With each letter, he included a few more details about life at the camp, until Remus was getting a blow by blow report of everything that was happening. Still, it wasn't enough.

Before the next full moon, Charlie Apparated back to England. He held the potion carefully hidden in his cloak, as he entered Grimmauld Place. He had chosen to arrive in the middle of the night to avoid meeting people, but that meant relying on his mother's letters to find Remus's room.

Charlie went upstairs, finding what he assumed to be the correct room. He opened the door gently, careful to make no noise in case it was not Remus's room, but even in the dark, he could recognise the silhouette of his lover. He closed the door, and locked it. He, then, laid the potion on the night table, before getting in bed with Remus. "Hello, love. Miss me?"

Remus stiffened at first, but quickly relaxed as Charlie settled in beside of him. It took a moment to sink in that he was really there, and that this wasn't just a very vivid dream.

"Hey," Remus said, completely shocked, his brain still sleep-addled. Within seconds Charlie was in his arms, all warm young flesh and firm muscle. "God, what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting... I'm glad you're here."

He pressed his lips to Charlie's, moving them together as he tugged the covers up over them. Charlie's lips were so soft against his and he moaned quietly, running his fingers through that gorgeous hair. He pulled back, breathless. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon. What are you doing here? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"So soon? God, I've been going crazy without you all this time. Everything is fine, I brought you the potion. Helga said to keep it on a low flame for a whole day and then you can take it as usual, otherwise it would still be good, but it'll taste like dragon piss, even more so than usual." Charlie grinned. "I'm quoting her verbatim, and I haven't asked how she knows what dragon piss tastes like."

Charlie rolled them over, until he was blanketing Remus with his body. "This monogamy thing is killing me. Ready to make it up to me," he said as he pressed his crotch against Remus. "Fuck me, Remus. Fuck me so hard that I'll feel you when I go back."

Remus moaned again, louder this time, and crushed their lips together, holding Charlie's head in place as he plundered his mouth.

He pulled back, gasping, and rolled them over, pushing Charlie's thighs apart with his knee and settling between his legs. "You feel so good," Remus rumbled, his hands touching every part of him that he could reach. "I've thought about you, just like this." But in his fantasies Charlie had on decidedly less clothing. He pushed his hands up under Charlie's shirt, groaning at the warmth that seemed to radiate off of the younger man. "Let's get you undressed," he said, pulling back to kneel up and tugging Charlie with him. It took everything he had not to rip his clothes from his body.

"Your wish is my command." The shirt was off before Charlie finished speaking. He unlaced one boot, while Remus took care of the other, and then his trousers and pants, joined the rest of his clothes on the floor.

Charlie lay back down, pulling Remus on top of him. "Is this better? It'd better be, because if you make me wait much longer I'll have to find someone else to bugger me," he teased.

"Like hell you will," Remus growled, dragging him further into the middle of the mattress. He kissed him, deep and rough, his hand sliding between them to wrap around Charlie's already hard cock. His own prick was aching, sliding against Charlie's stomach. He'd never get tired of this, of Charlie's body, of his skin, of the soft sounds he made. "You're gorgeous," he whispered against those perfect lips. "Oh, I've missed this."

"I've missed _you_." Charlie bucked up, meeting Remus's thrusts, their cocks gliding against each other. "Possessive, I like that," he whispered. "Show me you want me, show me how much, Remus... please, missed you, I need you so much." His hands slid down Remus's back, resting on his arse, pulling him closer. "Please."

Charlie's pleas made him ache. He reached for the drawer on the bedside table and fumbled for the oil. Sitting back, he coated his fingers and reached between Charlie's thighs, sliding behind his balls, into his cleft. He moaned as his fingers smoothed over Charlie's pucker, pressing softly inside, the tight snug of his anus making his cock harden further.

He took more time that he wanted to, stretching him, but he wanted all pleasure and no pain and he very much enjoyed watching Charlie writhe on his fingers. "Are you ready?" he asked, finally pulling back, coating his cock with the oil before bracing himself above him and guiding his cock inside.

He wanted to say that he was ready since he got there, but then Remus's cock was inside him, and his lover stole his words and his breath away. He clenched around Remus and then relaxed his muscles to the welcomed presence. "Fuck me... god, move... make me feel it." He had wanted this, had dreamt of it, and feeling Remus over him was better than mere memories. "You feel so good."

"So do you," Remus said shakily as he started to move. _Oh_ , Charlie was so fucking _tight_. He worried that he was hurting him, but Charlie's sounds and words told him he wasn't. He wanted to crawl inside the young man, lose himself completely in his flesh, in his scent, let those arms carry him away.

He thrust slow and hard, pulling out carefully before pressing back in with firm, long strokes. Charlie's thighs were tight around him and he slid his hands into his hair, gasping, thrusting his tongue into Charlie's mouth.

Charlie sucked on Remus's tongue, until the rhythm mimicked the cock sliding in and out of his body with exquisite force. "Deeper," he murmured when he could speak again, and he hooked his knees on Remus's arms, opening himself up for his lover, wanting to feel him buried so deep inside him that nothing else mattered. "Don't hold back... faster, harder... _fuck_ , right there, again."

He lay back, throwing his head back, eyes closed and chest heaving with each heavy breath. His fingers closed around his cock, stroking it. "Remus, please...."

Remus lengthened his strokes, arching into him and burrowing in as deep as he could. Charlie's hair was dark against the white sheets, his skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Adjusting his angle, Remus made sure that he hit that spot inside that made Charlie moan with every single thrust.

He batted Charlie's hand away from his cock, sitting back on his heels and thrusting harder. "Mine," he growled, wrapping his own fingers around Charlie's erection, fisting him in time with his thrusts.

Charlie didn't know how one word could make him feel so much, and he knew what Remus meant, he knew it was things people said while fucking, and yet something inside him melted. He reached up, carding Remus's hair, eyes fixed on his lover. "Yours," he said serious, before breaking into a grin. "Now, make me come."

"Yes, sir," Remus said, grinning back. He was breathless, sweat dripping from his brow, and Charlie looked like a fucking wet dream spread out beneath him. Tightening his grip, he shoved in harder, stroking him just there with his cock as his hand slid over Charlie's prick. "Let me see you, love. Come on my cock. Come all over me."

 _Bloody fucking hell_ , Remus knew exactly what to do, but most importantly he knew what to say. The words alone were enough to give him that extra push. He threw his head back, closing his eyes and let pleasure wash over him as bright lights exploded behind his eyelids and warm jets of come covered his stomach and Remus's hand.

 _Fucking hell_. Remus kept his eyes open through it all. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Even if he hadn't been so very close to losing it, the sight of Charlie's completion would have pushed him to the brink.

He fucked him through it, Charlie's arse clenching around his prick, and pushed in deep, his own orgasm upon him. His cock swelled and pulsed and he pushed in deep, edging inside as far as he could go as he came. His body shuddered as he emptied himself, gasping for breath, falling forward to crush his lips against Charlie's.

"I need to visit you more often," Charlie said breathlessly. He kept his arms tight around Remus, as if worried that he'd disappear, although he knew it was stupid. He planted kisses along Remus's jaw, returning to his lips, only to start on the other side. "God, how I missed you!"

"I missed you as well," Remus whispered, kissing his brow. "And I concur that you should visit more often." He shifted as his cock began to soften, letting it slip from Charlie's body. Grabbing his wand, he cleaned them both, before rolling to the side and pulling Charlie with him, tucking him against his chest. "I could definitely get used to this. How long are you here for?"

"Officially? Only tomorrow, but I'll stay here tomorrow night if you want me," he asked before kissing Remus's neck. "I wish I could take more time, but with the night shifts, we really don't get time off. My family doesn't even know I'm coming. Bugger that. Dumbledore doesn't know I'm here. My Mum will probably have a fit when she finds out I came without 'consulting' with anyone." He pushed Remus's hair away from his face. "Will you come back with me? Or maybe come the day of the full moon? I don't want you to go through the change alone."

"I'll come the day of the full moon." He still wasn't used to such concern but it warmed him, made him feel cared for in a way he couldn't remember feeling in recent years. "And of course I want you to stay tomorrow night. I want you around as long as I can have you. I'll have to leave for a bit tomorrow, but you'll need time with your parents. I'll be back early afternoon." He smoothed his fingers over Charlie's face. "I think Molly will be pleased just to see you."

Charlie sniggered. "You're right about that. She won't remember to yell at me until she writes that first letter after I leave." He moaned happily as he stretched against Remus, settling around him until they were a mangle of limbs. "I'm glad you're coming to Romania. I'll have an excuse to take care of you, won't I? You're mine to spoil now."

It was lovely lying next to Charlie. The sex had been fabulous... it always was. But this? This was something: security and safety and acceptance. Nothing came close to it. "You're too good to me," he murmured. "It's not necessary. But I appreciate it. I'm not accustomed to not actually dreading the moon. It means a lot to me." He moved to kiss his cheek, his lips. "Thank you."

"Stop it. You'll never have to thank me for doing what human decency should bring everyone to do. As for the spoiling..." Charlie shrugged. "It's what lovers do, and a good lover will let me get some rest, because a day with my mother is more tiring than a day with dragons," he added lightly. "Good night, Remus."

"Good thing you're in shape from dealing with the dragons, then." Remus let his hand slide up and down Charlie's back. "Goodnight, love," he whispered, giving him one last kiss. He wondered briefly how it had happened, how he'd been afforded something so very sweet. But it didn't matter, Charlie was here, heart beating against him, warm breath on his throat and he let his eyes fall shut, safe and sated and completely happy.

* * *

After Charlie's departure, they settled into a new routine. Charlie would try to visit at least twice a month, for only a day or two. Remus would arrive at the camp before the full moon, and stay for a few days until he would recuperate.

Everything was going on so well that Charlie was surprised to see his mother's Patronus, telling him about an attack at the Ministry, about Ginny and Ron being involved, and finally about Sirius's death.

Charlie wasted no time leaving the camp, and arriving at Grimmauld Place. He waited in Remus's room until his lover arrived. When Remus entered the room, he looked miserable. Charlie stood up, and closed his arms around him. "I'm so sorry, love."

Remus pressed his face against Charlie's shoulder and closed his eyes. The last few hours seemed to have slipped past in a haze of fear and disbelief. A fog had settled around him, muted and thick, and he was thankful... it was the only reason he'd been able to function through everything that had happened.

Sliding his arms around Charlie's waist he squeezed him, pulling him tight against his body. "Thank you," he said, but his voice sounded odd. He could still feel the way Harry struggled in his arms, could still see clearly in his mind the look on Sirius' face as he fell, could still hear Harry's screams. He pressed his face tighter against Charlie's throat and let himself be held.

'My condolences', 'it's all right', 'things will get better', nothing seemed appropriate at the time. Everything sounded too shallow or too false. Charlie held on tighter, brushing Remus's hair gently. "Come on, love, let's sit down, and you can tell me what you need. Anything." He loosened his grip, only long enough to cup Remus's face and laying the gentlest kiss. "I wish I could take this pain from you, Remus. I'm sorry."

Remus nodded and followed him to the bed. He sat beside of him and leaned heavily against him, his fingers twined with Charlie's. He didn't think he could talk about it at all, but he surprised himself. Resting his head against Charlie's shoulder he told him of the frenzied rush to the Ministry, of the fight, of the kids, kids in the middle of it all. And finally of Sirius' fall through the veil. His voice broke at the end but he breathed deep and regrouped himself.

"Ron and Ginny are going to be all right. They're in the infirmary. Ron will be there for a few days... Ginny probably over night. I'm glad you're here."

"I know, Mum told me about them. I'll go soon, but I wanted to see you first." He'd come straight here, knowing full well that his siblings would have plenty of support. All the people involved would have support. Everyone but Remus. "When we were little, Mum would solve any problem with biscuits and a cuppa. I wish they were still enough." He kissed Remus's temple. "Do you want anything? Something a lot stronger than tea?"

"I wish they were still enough too. I don't... no, I'm just glad you came by." He frowned and ran a hand through his greying hair. "It isn't right," he muttered. "He'd just gotten out of Azkaban. He'd had everything taken from him and now... now there's no chance for him ever to get it back." _And it's just me left again_. The injustice stung, harsh and jarring, making his chest ache and his stomach tight. "He deserved better. Stuck in this house for months, going out of his mind and he finally got out. And now he's gone." It was a nightmare and Remus found himself wishing he could wake from it. Charlie's arm around him felt good, sturdy, and his presence made things bearable.

"I know. No on should have suffered what he did; no one should be caged like that." Charlie had heard enough from his mother to know that he'd gone mad in Sirius's situation. There was no reason why glamours and potions couldn't have been used to let him roam around free.

Charlie squeezed Remus's hand. "This will sound selfish, but... I'm glad you are all right. The thought of something happening to you..." He kissed the other man again, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against Remus's. "I knew you were okay or Mum would have said, but until you came in... I'm... God, I'm so happy you're here, in my arms."

Remus was glad to be here as well. He wrapped his arms around Charlie once more, holding him close and letting his scent wash over him. "I'm glad you weren't there. I'm glad you're safe as well." He didn't want to think of anything happening to Charlie. "Your family will be happy to see you as well. I'm sure Molly is in hysterics. She's every reason to be, they could have been... it could have been much worse." He took a shuddering breath. "And Harry... he saw Sirius fall, I can't... he doesn't need to deal with this. He has enough."

"Stop that, love. You can't worry for the entire world. Harry will have plenty of people willing to help him, and my family will see me when we're done. When you're better. I'm not going anywhere until _you_ are okay, and don't even try to tell me that you are." Charlie took Remus's hand, kissing his wrist, feeling the heartbeat pulsing there. "I know what Sirius meant to you, and you need time to mourn him."

"No. I'm not all right. I will be. I want to sleep for a while." Remus smiled sadly at Charlie. "I actually wouldn't mind sleeping for a few days. It's not possible, though. And I do need to check on Harry. If I hadn't have grabbed him, he'd have gone after Sirius. He was so close. He's so young, too young for all of this. He deserves to have Sirius. He deserves to have James and Lily." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Nothing will be better today. It will take time. I have that." He just wasn't sure how much time he had. How much time any of them had.

"And you did nothing to take those things from him. I'm sure Mum will be there with him, and Ron, and Ginny." Charlie crouched in front of Remus, and took his shoes off, before pushing his robe off his shoulders. "You can sleep for a few hours," he said as he folded the robe. This he could do. He could take care of Remus, make plans, give him support. "Lay down, love. I'll stay with you until you wake up, and if you're needed for anything, I promise to wake you up."

Remus wearily stretched out on the bed and twined his fingers with Charlie's. "I'll be fine sleeping, love. You don't have to stay." Remus knew he needed to tell Charlie that his siblings should come first, that Molly would be looking for him to come, that he was all right, really, just needed a nap. But he couldn't say those things, not when Charlie was so close, not when the thought of him being here, even in sleep, gave him something to cling to. He felt like he'd started falling when Sirius fell, followed him down and hurtled further and further... until Charlie's arms had closed around him.

"I needn't stay, but I want to," Charlie said, kissing Remus's neck. He held the other man, petting and kissing him, until Remus's breathing slowed down, and became more regular. Charlie didn't let go even after Remus fell asleep.

* * *

Charlie spent the next two days between Grimmauld Place and the Burrow. His parents were too frantic to question where he went when he wasn't with them and the rest of his family.

Remus looked better, but Charlie had a feeling that it was mostly due to the fact that over the years, Remus had learned to hide what he didn't want people to see. With this conviction, it was hard for him to leave his lover, but he also had obligations toward his family.

"I need to go see Ron, but I'll be back soon, all right?" he told Remus as he got ready. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to stay, but maybe you can come with me for a while."

Remus smiled at his lover. He wasn't sure what he would have done the past few days if he hadn't been here. Nothing could make the pain and shock go away, nothing could bring Sirius back, but Charlie eased things somewhat. More than anything else seemed to.

"I'm pleased that you were able to stay as long as you did. You've been wonderful." He stood and walked to Charlie, running a hand through his hair. "Wait up a moment, let me get my robe and I'll go with you. I'd love to see Harry and Ron as well."

Charlie froze at Remus's words. He'd been very careful to keep Remus and his family separated. He didn't know how to act with his family around. He wouldn't know how to explain why he and Remus were so close. "Remus... They don't know, I can't... they think I go back to Romania. We could meet there, perhaps, to avoid questions. I mean, how will I explain that we're friends when they think I've meet you once?"

Remus frowned. "I suppose I can meet you there." He'd never understood why Charlie was so very afraid to tell his family of his sexual orientation. It wasn't as if it was something to be ashamed of and the young man seemed so very confident in every other way. "You do know that you can't keep it a secret forever, don't you? They will never really be a part of your life if you continue to hide from them. I spent a large portion of my life hiding myself from others. It's not a good way to live." He had assumed that Charlie simply needed time to accept things. It appeared that he was wrong.

"They don't need to know," Charlie said coldly. "It has nothing to do with them." He stopped for a moment, leaning back against Remus. "They won't understand, Remus. I know my parents. They want the wife, and the children, and as long as they don't know, they can keep their illusions. Once I tell them... they won't say anything, but they'll be crushed, and then Mum will look like someone died, and then the little comments will start. I can't do it, love; there is no need to. I can give them their hope, and still do what I want."

"I think you're wrong," Remus said quietly, slipping his arms tight around Charlie's waist. "You're underestimating them. They want you to be happy. And I want you to be happy. You shouldn't have to push them away like this. They deserve to know you and you deserve to be able to be yourself." He kissed his temple. "I happen to like who you are very much." He was silent for a moment. "Is it me? Is it because I am a werewolf that you're afraid to tell them?"

"No, of course not," Charlie answered, annoyance creeping through his words. "Have I given you any reason to think that I care that you're a werewolf? I've done nothing but to try to convince you that it's just an illness, not the end of the world." He shook his head, snorting at the same time. "How could you even think that? I told you from the start that my parents don't know and won't know. That's true with you, and it would be true with any other bloke."

Remus stepped back. "I wasn't accusing you of anything. I actually would understand. They would worry about you being around a werewolf so much. That's nothing to do with how you feel personally." Charlie seemed tense, irritated, and Remus really didn't understand where it was all coming from. "And I suppose I didn't realize that you never meant to tell them. Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry, but I'm tired of listening to what a huge problem you being a werewolf should be. It's not. Not for me, and it wouldn't be for my parents. We're better than that, and you should know that by now. I don't care if you are a werewolf; that's what I want you to understand, to believe." Charlie sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping, but I won't tell my parents. I won't hurt them like that."

Remus sighed. "I didn't mean to imply that you or your family weren't understanding. I _know_ you are. I'm simply going on a lifetime of people being afraid of me. I want you to think about telling them." He ran a hand through his hair. "I won't go back into hiding, Charlie. I can't do it."

"Back into hiding? Remus, when have you been out? Who exactly knows that you're gay? You've been hiding this just as much as I have, and now what? Suddenly you want to come out, because your one friend died-" Charlie stopped abruptly. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... Please, Remus, you have to understand; they're my parents, and I'd rather lie to them than to disappoint them."

Remus stiffened. The remark about Sirius being his _one_ friend stung. He wasn't used to Charlie being deliberately cruel. "This doesn't have anything to do with Sirius. He knew, Dumbledore knows. I think a good bit of the Order suspects, including your father. I don't believe people need to know about my love life as it's my business, but I don't hide it. I don't lie about it. I'm through with lying about myself. Your parents would be more disappointed if they knew you didn't trust them enough to tell them."

"Don't tell me how my parents will feel. You have no idea, and even if you were right, we'll never know, because they will never find out," Charlie replied stubbornly. "We agree on one thing. People don't need to know about my love life either. I'm single, and will always be single as far as my family is concerned."

Remus moved away from him, feeling tired and sad for him. For them both. "Go visit your brother," he said softly. Charlie turned and walked out and Remus sank to the bed, resting his head in his hands.

* * *

Did it really matter? Was he making too big of a deal out of this? He wanted it to be all right, for him to be able to deal with Charlie never telling anyone in his family about him, for them to continue seeing each other in secret for as long as Charlie would have him.

Beggars couldn't be choosers.

But the fact was that he didn't want to beg and he didn't want to settle. He didn't want to be something Charlie hid in the backroom, something that he was... ashamed of. It hurt to think, but he couldn't view it any other way. Reclining back on the mattress he sighed and closed his eyes. He'd talk to him when Charlie got back. It was bad timing. He felt raw from Sirius' death and the thought of losing Charlie made his throat feel tight and his eyes burn. He wanted his smile and his hands and his easy laugh, but perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

Charlie returned a few hours later, and even then he'd had to find plenty of excuses to avoid his mother's repeated invitations to supper. He was glad to be back with Remus, but when he opened the door of Remus's bedroom, he only needed a moment to know that his happiness would be short lived. "What's wrong?"

"Hey," Remus said softly, moving toward him and kissing him softly. He brushed Charlie's hair back from his brow, carding it through his fingers. He wasn't even sure what to say. Charlie had been so very good to him and it seemed wrong to repay that with this. But it also felt wrong to accept such kindness... when the kindness was conditional on his silence. "Come, sit down."

Years of working with dragons had honed his instinct, teaching him to take in small movements that would mean nothing to the casual observer and use them to predict what was happening. Instinct told him that there was something truly wrong, and Charlie pulled Remus close, kissing him deeply, before letting his lover go. "All right, let's sit," he said, already moving to the bed, sitting on the edge as he waited for whatever it was that Remus wanted to tell him.

Remus sat beside of him and took his hand, keeping his eyes on his twined fingers. "I adore you. I wake up some nights and wonder if it's all been a dream. A gorgeous dream. Charlie... I am not a young man. I can't... If I'm to be in a relationship, I need it to have a chance of growing into something that will last." He reached up to touch Charlie's face. "A relationship that I have to hide... I can't see that going anywhere. It has to be worth fighting for. And if it isn't, then we're wasting our time, love."

"You can't see this going anywhere?" Charlie asked incredulous. "How can you say that? Before you, I fucked people, I wasn't in a relationship, and now.... Bloody hell, you are the only thing I think about. I haven't been with anyone else since meeting you; I haven't even thought of being with someone else, for Merlin's sake. We read together, we talk, we take care of each other, but since you're missing Sunday dinner at the in laws, suddenly it's not enough? Well, I'm giving you everything I have, but I won't put my parents through this. I'm sorry, Remus, but I can't."

"It's not about Sunday dinner with your family. Do you think I would do this over something so trivial? It's about you being ashamed of us," Remus said gently. "I hope you understand what I'm saying. This _can't_ go anywhere, not when confined to a single room. We'd constantly be inventing excuses, coming up with lies... and I'd not be able to share this with anyone. The friends I have here, the people who care for me here... Charlie, you're telling me I have to hide you from them. I don't want to do that." He swallowed thickly. "And I know you won't agree to tell them. I knew that when you left today to visit Ron. I'm so sorry."

"The people who care for you... That's bloody funny, because I thought I cared for you. I thought...." Charlie stopped, trying to keep his voice steady, to push away the knot that had appeared in his throat. "It doesn't matter, because I think we have very different ideas of what caring about someone means." He stood up, and without a word, he began to collect the few things he had brought over, and stuffed his bag with them. "The potion will still be there, and you're more than welcome to come and stay during the full moon," he said, as he stood in the middle of the room, gripping his bag so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

He'd probably see Remus again, but this was goodbye. He knew that. "I've never been ashamed of you," he whispered, his voice trembling slightly and his eyes stinging. "Goodbye, Remus."

Perhaps not, but he was ashamed of their relationship. He was ashamed of being seen with him, together, as lovers. Remus didn't argue the point. His chest actually _hurt_ and he reached out to touch his face one last time. Charlie didn't understand and he'd hurt him, but it was better this way. They'd only get more involved and it would be worse in the end.

He wasn't sure he could take it as it was.

"I never questioned your affections. You have been... I can't tell you how much I..." Remus took a breath. "You've always stunned me with your kindness. And if I... if I could make myself be all right with keeping this secret then I would never leave. I don't want to now." He pulled him into a hug, not knowing if Charlie would accept, but needing to try. "Take care of yourself. I will miss you," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut tight and breathing him in, wanting to memorize everything about him.

Charlie held Remus tight, burying his head against Remus's neck. He would not cry; that's what little girls did. He could wait until he would be alone. "I'll miss you, too. I still expect you at the camp, end of the month, okay? You don't have to... The potion will be ready for you." He kissed Remus's cheek. This was killing him, especially because there was no reason for it. They were good together; they could be even better with time, but Remus didn't seem to think so. "If you change your mind.... Goodbye." He Apparated straight from the bedroom to Romania, isolating himself once more from the English wizarding community.

* * *

Charlie hadn't expected to feel so lonely. He was still with his friends, in the place he'd called home for longer that he could remember. His mother's letters arrived with the same punctuality. Nothing changed except for those monthly visits. Now, he made sure not to be around when Remus came to pick up his potion. If Remus had wanted to speak to him, he knew where the tent was.

He told himself that he was being stupid. They'd only been together for a few months. There had been nothing logical about their relationship. They shouldn't have gotten so close, so quickly. There were hundred of reasons he came up with to dismiss the emptiness he felt. When none of them worked, he told himself that time would fix everything, but the months went by, and he still missed Remus.

It was almost a year after their break up that his mother's Patronus arrived. His stomach dropped at the thought that something had happened to Remus, but then he remembered that his mother wouldn't know about him and Remus. Instead the words Bill and beaten and werewolf were enough to make him Apparate at the edge of Hogwarts.

He ran all the way to the infirmary. He opened the door, staying just outside. From the crack, he heard Fleur profess her love for his brother and her intention to marry him.

_"You see!" said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"_

_"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"_

_"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times...."_

_"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor . . . too dangerous...."_

_"I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," said Mrs. Weasley over Fleur's shoulder as she patted her on the back._

Charlie wanted to hex his mother at that moment, but he reminded himself that he didn't have any claims on Remus.

_"I am not being ridiculous," said Lupin steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."_

_"But she wants you," said Mr. Weasley, with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so."_

Great, now even his father was getting into this, but then again, his parents were suckers for families. Charlie had known it all along. They would be thrilled to see Remus settle down with Tonks.

_"This is... not the moment to discuss it," said Lupin, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around distractedly._

Remus's eyes met his, and he stopped talking for a moment. Charlie froze, unable to think, to breathe. He smiled sadly at Remus, and then gently closed the door again. He could return later to speak with Bill, when the others had left, because he would never survive in the same room with Remus and his girlfriend.

Remus felt as if all the air had been knocked from his body. Dumbledore's death had shocked him, frightened him, and things seemed to be spiralling out of control. First Hogwarts being breached, then the loss of their leader, and now... oh _fuck_ , Charlie was likely to think it looked, well, exactly as it looked. Remus waited until McGonagall and Harry left before gently untangling Tonks from his robes and quietly excusing himself. He rushed out the door and searched the deserted hallways. Charlie was no where to be found.

He slumped against the wall and his knees gave. He slid down until he was sitting on the cold floor and rested his head in his hands. It's not like it mattered, really. Charlie had stayed away and Remus assumed he was happy. He missed him more now than he did in the beginning, it seemed, but they weren't together, and Charlie likely wouldn't care even if he did decide to start seeing Tonks. Which wasn't going to happen. He hated to hurt her, but there was simply nothing there for him. He couldn't live a lie for her, especially not after he refused to live a lie for someone he actually loved.

That thought frightened him. He'd carefully avoided the word in his mind, hoping that maybe that would make things easier. It didn't. And he could tell himself all day long that Charlie wouldn't care, but he looked like he did. Those eyes. He rested his head back against the wall and sighed before pulling himself up. He'd find him after the wake. They needed to talk.

* * *

Tonks attached herself to him again as soon as he arrived at Hogwarts. He didn't have the heart to say anything, not right then, not when they were about to bury Dumbledore. He held her hand through the service, unable to meet her eyes. She didn't seem to notice. Like everyone else she seemed too grief stricken. Bill was there with Fleur and Remus was glad to hear that he seemed to be doing well. Harry was holding up as best as he could.

About halfway through he saw him, Charlie, at the back of the crowd, and Remus's chest clenched. It was a lifetime before it was over and everyone started to stand. He pulled his hand from Tonks and told her he'd see her later, ignoring the look of confusion in her face. There was too much going on inside his head at the moment.

Charlie waited for the crowd to disappear. Who was he kidding? He was waiting for Remus and Tonks to leave so he could talk to his family, and then he saw Remus come his way, and he resisted to urge to disapparate away. He smiled, it was forced and Remus would know, but it was better than to let his hurt show. "Hello, Remus," he said, his voice hiding the knot in his stomach. "I see you've found your Sunday dinners.... I'm happy for you. If you'll excuse me..."

Remus reached out and wrapped his fingers around Charlie's upper arm, stopping him. "Charlie, I'm not..." He waited until Charlie turned toward him again. "What you saw in the infirmary, that's what _she_ wants. I never agreed, and I certainly don't have feelings for her. I'm not straight. You should know that better than anyone." He frowned and let his hand slide down Charlie's arm before dropping his hand at his side. "I meant what I said to you. I won't live a lie for anyone. If I wouldn't do it for _you_... God, Charlie, I wouldn't for anyone."

"You sure have everyone fooled. Mum is ready to arrange the wedding." Charlie bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter, does it? This is what you want," he said waving toward the spot where members of the Order had congregated, talking to each other. "You want their acceptance, and Tonks can give it to you, while I can't. The one thing I can't do for you..." His eyes stung, tears threatening to spill, and he fought to keep control for just a while longer. "Let me go," he said, layers of meaning hiding the fact that he could easily free himself. "Let go before they see me. Neither of us wants to explain this."

"What I want? It wasn't acceptance. Simply honesty. I didn't give a toss if what we had was _accepted_. I wanted _you._ And I didn't want to hide that fact." Remus ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. He wanted to hold him. "She can't give me anything I want or need. I'm not in love with _her_."

"Maybe you should use that honesty you value so much and tell her before you break her heart." Charlie leaned against the tree he'd been using as cover. "Honesty, Remus? I heard what she said about you telling her that you're too old, too poor... those are lies. You don't want to be with her because you're gay, but you never felt necessary to tell her _that_." He chuckled, his laugh devoid of any mirth. "But you were quick to pass judgment on me, when I was ready to give you what you needed, maybe not what you wanted, but certainly what you needed."

"Those _aren't_ lies. I didn't think I should be with you for the same reasons. But I wasn't able to tell you that because I wanted you so badly. I don't want her. And I intend to tell her. I thought it cruel to tell her today. Believe it or not, I saw it as a harmless crush. I assumed I could push her away without getting personal. I apparently was wrong. It came as a shock what she did in front of everyone in the infirmary. I didn't want to make a scene, but I assure you, it was never my intention to lie about myself."

"Oh fuck you, Remus. You misjudged the situation, that's all, right? Because it's so normal to tell someone 'I'm too' when you in fact mean 'I like cock'. I can see how you would get confused between the two." Charlie pushed himself off the tree, and approached Remus. "I might not tell my parents, but I never lead a girl on. The moment they sit down next to me in a pub or a club, the first words out of my mouth are 'I'm gay'. You chose not to tell her; just like I choose not to tell my parents. Mind you, I'm not saying you're wrong, but _you_ broke up with me for doing exactly what you've been doing with Tonks. You kept saying that my parents would understand, that they would be disappointed that I didn't tell them, and then you give me excuses like it was a harmless crush, not getting too personal, not wanting to make a scene. They are all excuses, Remus, and it hurts that you could throw everything away in the name of honesty and then you do this. It hurts more than when we broke up."

"I've been living in a pit for most of the year, not talking to anyone but other werewolves who are out for blood. So if, during the handful of times that I've seen her, she decided she was attached, then I think I can forgive myself for missing that fact. And how on earth can you compare the two situations? You're trying to compare a young girl that I don't even know to my relationship with you. I was in love with you," Remus said harshly. "And I wanted the world to know."

"I was in love with you, and I wanted _you_. Neither of us got what he wanted." Charlie almost reached for Remus, but he pulled his hand away before it made contact. He doubted that he'd be able to let go if he touched him. "Look, Remus, it's probably none of my business, and you might think that it's so simple, but it's not. She's been over at the Burrow; Mum wrote me about her. She didn't know of course, had no idea what she was doing to me, but that girl is in love with you, and I know all too well what it means losing you. Nothing you tell her will make things easier, but at least she won't start making wedding plans.... As I said, none of my business, but I don't want anyone else to hurt."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted that," Remus whispered. Charlie saying that he'd been in love with him stabbed through him, sharp and clean. "I will tell her. I had every intention of it. I wouldn't have ever allowed this to continue." He was tired and there had been too much death and too much sadness and too much heartbreak. "I've missed you so much, I don't think I could even begin to tell you. I am truly sorry. For everything."

"You don't have to tell me. I know; I've missed you, too." His fingers brushed against Remus's, edging between them, not quite curling around them. "I'm sorry you had such a hard year, but you _know_ you don't have to go through this alone. I told you if you ever changed your mind...." Charlie let go of Remus and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't be doing this. You have enough to worry about." He forced another smile. "If there is anything I can ever do for you... I still want to help, if I can."

"Oh, Charlie. I've changed my mind at least a dozen times a day, every day, since I last saw you." Remus stepped closer to Charlie. "Please don't apologise. It's... It's good to see you, I've wanted..." He stopped and sighed. "Have you been all right?"

"Better than you it seems, but that doesn't say much, does it?" Charlie looked around, people dispersing in all directions. "Do you... would you like to go somewhere? Have a drink? Talk?" This felt awkward, something he'd never experienced with Remus. Things were always easy and natural with the other man. "Unless you rather not... I'd understand." Although he really didn't understand any of this. They loved each other; it seemed they both wanted to be with each other, and yet they were alone and miserable.

Oh that was such a bad idea. It could only lead to more pain. But Charlie was so beautiful standing in the sunlight and he looked so sad and Remus didn't have anything left inside of him to tell him no. And the fact was he wanted to be close to him for as long as possible. Things hadn't worked with them together, and they were even worse apart, and he wasn't sure he knew anything anymore. "All right," Remus said softly. "A drink sounds good. Wherever you want."

"I'll Apparate us there, okay?" Charlie took the last step that separated them, and closed his arms around Remus. "We need to walk to the gates first," he said, smiling softly, refusing to let go, but after a moment he stepped back, and held Remus's hand until they got from the lake to the gates. When they got there, he put his arms around Remus again. With a pop, they left Scotland, and found themselves in front of a wizarding _locanda_ in Romania. Voices mingled together to create a loud buzz, something to be expected around lunch time, but Charlie didn't look around, instead he kept his eyes on Remus. "We never went out together, did we?"

Remus shook his head. "No. We didn't," he said, holding Charlie's eyes. Charlie had said he wasn't ashamed of Remus, but they'd never ever gone anywhere together. He looked away, aware that Charlie's arms were still around him and he wondered how long it would take Charlie to realise this fact as well. He nodded toward the door. "Shall we?"

When Remus looked away, the spell broke, and Charlie let go. He couldn't resist taking Remus's hand in his as they walked inside. This was a friendly place where people knew each other, and the atmosphere resembled large dinners at the Burrow. People were eating and talking, sometimes discussing things between different tables. Charlie found a table in the furthest corner, away from the noise, and sat next to Remus. "Do you want something to eat? Food is very good here, and the lager quite powerful. You might need some food if you'd like to walk out of here on your own two feet."

"Food would be good," said Remus, surprised that Charlie had held his hand. Now that they were seated he hadn't let go and Remus curled his fingers tighter around Charlie's squeezing his hand. "You're welcome to order for us both if you like. I trust you." It was surreal to be here with him, after a year apart, surrounded by people and their hands twined together. Remus' heart was in his throat.

Charlie stared for a moment, unable to answer, and then he took a deep breath, and motioned for the waitress. During Remus's brief visits, he'd learned to distinguish the spices he enjoyed, the ones that were too strong for him. He looked at the menu, and carefully picked their meal, avoiding many of the Romanian traditional dishes, heavy in spices.

When the waitress left, Charlie had no choice but to look at Remus, wondering once more why they were in this situation. "You said you changed your mind," he finally said. "Why didn't you ever come? When you were at the camp for the potion, you could have.... I don't know what, talked to me, maybe."

"I hurt you. I didn't want to do it again," Remus said. He smiled sadly at Charlie. "And as time passed I assumed that you would have moved on." He was surprised that he hadn't. "You're young and attractive and caring and passionate... I didn't think that you'd need me popping back up in your life. Besides, if I had known you'd be receptive, and came... if talking didn't get us anywhere, it would hurt you all over again. It would hurt me all over again. We didn't need that." He sat back as the ale was delivered to the table and reached for his glass, drinking deeply. "But then, we've not needed any of this. I honestly don't know what to do."

"Moved on, Remus? Did I ever mention another important relationship? Really did I give you any indication that there had been anyone else before you? Do you remember who insisted in monogamy? I wanted you, and only you, but you never could seem to accept this simple fact, and if you give me those bloody excuses you gave Tonks, I'll deck you right here. I don't care how much money you have, I don't care that you are a few years older. I never cared about any of that." He reached for his glass, tracing the rim. "But none of that matters, because we're still back at my parents. Did you see how glad they were to see you settled? I'm sure Mum is making wedding plans and picking the right place to live for you and Tonks as we speak."

"Charlie... I apologize. You'll have to forgive me. I have never been used to such affections. I suppose I have things to work on, don't I? And I don't care how glad Molly is. I adore Molly, but her opinion of my love life doesn't make a difference to me. I know she's your mother, and I know you love her, but why does it matter so very much to you? Please don't see that as an attack, it isn't. I simply want to understand. To try to understand. She and your father are a world away, you don't see them often, why are you so afraid to tell them? It's your life, not theirs. You're the one that has to be happy with it."

"It's not what they'll think of me, Remus. I've come to terms with what might happen. It's about them. They will get hurt from my revelation. Do you know how upset she's been about Bill and Fleur? Mum couldn't believe Fleur was the right person for him. But it's more than that. She has certain ideas, dreams. Merlin, she's even checking up on Penelope, and she hasn't spoken to Percy in months." Charlie sighed. "If I tell her, Mum will get hurt. Both of them will, but Mum especially. If I lived there, it'd be different; I would be forced to tell them, but here... Why hurt them when they don't have to know?"

"She's come around with Fleur. In the end, she just wants to know that the people her children are with genuinely care for them and are good to them. You know better than I do that Molly has a huge heart. And she loves you. If her illusions are shattered of your life then yes, it may hurt her for a while. But it won't always hurt her. It hurt her that your brothers left school, opened up their shop. She isn't hurt anymore; in fact she's quite proud of them. You don't have to protect them from knowing who you are. You're quite extraordinary, you know?"

"Yeah? It doesn't feel like that. In fact, it feels really shitty." Charlie stopped as the waitress set their plates in front of them. "There shouldn't be any paprika or any other red pepper based spice. Let me know if they forgot." He pushed the pork in his plate for a moment, and then looked up. "This is strange. I've never been at a loss of word with you around, but now.... Could we go back to the way things were?" He didn't even know if he meant their friendship or their relationship. He wanted the latter, but after being deprived of Remus's presence for months, he would settle on friendship. It would hurt, but nothing hurt as much as never seeing Remus again.

"I don't know," Remus said honestly. "I don't... I don't agree with hiding this, it feels wrong." He reached out and touched Charlie's face, his fingers moving over freckled skin. "But it feels wrong to be without you as well. I don't rightly know how to handle this. I know that I don't want you to be at a loss for words with me. And I know that I'm glad you're here right now."

Charlie leaned against Remus's hand, closing his eyes, soaking the warmth he'd been missing. "Do you think they could come to accept this, accept us?" he asked softly. "If they don't...." He reopened his eyes, focusing on Remus. "You'd be hurt more than me, you understand that, yeah? As you said, I live in Romania, but you... you'll have to face my family, Tonks, Harry... plenty of people who might not understand."

"Love, I think that they can accept you, yes. Can they accept us? I hope so. But being in a relationship with you, being able to not hide that from anyone? I could deal with the hurt. I could deal with anything I had to. Nothing could change how I feel for you. And the people who really care for me... they _will_ understand. It may take some time, but they'll come around." Remus replied gently, holding his eyes.

"I want you. I can't live without you. This past year... it's been bloody miserable, but you didn't have to read Mum's letters about Fleur and Tonks. You do understand that I know more about what she feels for you than you seem to know, don't you? I don't know... I doubt it's as easy as you make it out to be, but you left, and then I found out about Tonks, and you didn't talk to me. God, Remus, it was killing me, and-" Charlie leaned in, stopping close to Remus's lips. "I missed you; I don't want to see you leave again." He pressed his closed lips to Remus for the briefest moment, and then he pulled back. "You win; I'll tell them."

Remus closed his eyes and reached blindly out, his fingers curling around Charlie's arm. "I don't want to leave again," he rasped, sliding closer. "I don't want to lose you again. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry about Tonks, as soon as I go back to England I will tell her." He pulled Charlie closer and rested his forehead against his. "I've dreamed of you. I've dreamed of your voice, of your skin. I never stopped loving you."

"Let's get out of here. Please, I can't wait any more. A year, Remus...I need you." He reached for Remus's nape, pulling him in for a kiss, a real one this time, as he poured the need that had built up over the months.

He reluctantly broke off the kiss as he stood up, reaching for the _lei_ to pay for their meal. Charlie took Remus's hand. "Let's go."

"Yes," Remus gasped, standing up as well. He followed Charlie outside, still tasting him on his lips, and stepped close, pressing his lips against Charlie's once more even as the pressure of apparition closed around them.

They materialized inside Charlie's tent and the familiarity of his surroundings, of the man in his arms, nearly brought him to his knees. "Love you," he whispered, pushing his hands into Charlie's hair and guiding them toward the back of the tent.

Charlie didn't have to look where they were going; he knew this tent too well, and he could close his eyes, kissing Remus, walking and fighting against Remus's clothes, trying to divest him before reaching his cot. It was a frenzy of movements, no finesse, nothing but raw need, and by the time they reached the cot, there were still too many layers between then, and he pulled away, long enough to pull off his tee. "Naked, now."

"Yes," Remus hissed, letting his robes be pushed off his shoulders, a few buttons popping free, as he struggled to unfasten Charlie's trousers. It was like that first clean breath of air after being underwater for too long. He _burned_ with need, unable to get close enough, to feel enough of him. Remus's cock was painfully hard against his belly and he pushed his hips against Charlie's thigh, finally getting those bloody buttons undone and shoving his trousers down. Remus fell to his knees, unthinking, and took Charlie's erection into his mouth, needing to feel him in his mouth, on his tongue, in his throat.

It took all of his will to remain standing, his knees threatening to buckle as Remus took him in. All so familiar and new at the same time, making his heart speed and his stomach jump, and his hand went to Remus's hand, trying to find some support, but ending up pushing him away. He found deep brown eyes looking up at him, searching for an explanation that he had problems understanding himself. "Can't do it like this. I need to feel you, need you naked, need to touch you." The images of random blowjobs came to mind, and he shivered, never wanting to feel as cold as he had in the year without Remus. "I need you."

"All right," Remus said, pulling himself up, planting kisses over Charlie's belly as he stood, running his fingers through that beautiful red hair. His stomach had twisted when Charlie had pushed him away and now he wanted to wipe everything from Charlie's mind but here and now. "All right." He walked them the few steps to the bed and eased Charlie down, cradling his head with one hand.

Charlie's wand was in his trousers and Remus slipped it free and charmed the rest of their clothes from their bodies, moaning softly as their skin slid together. "I need you too, so much. Always need you." Remus caressed his skin, taking his time, wanting to memorize every inch of his body.

Not enough, not always Charlie thought, but he didn't want to mar this with the past. He'd made his decision to acquiesce to Remus's wishes (ultimatum, really), it was his choice, and now it was time to move forward.

Charlie carded Remus's hair, pulling him closer so he could kiss his lover, losing himself in the familiar touch, in their kisses that still held the flavour of their relationship. "Want you," he said into the kiss.

Remus nodded, thrusting into the cradle of his hips, letting their erections slide together. "Want _you_." He couldn't believe Charlie was beneath him, couldn't believe this was really happening. Reaching for the side table he pulled open the drawer, finding the oil in the same spot he'd remembered it. Fumbling, he managed to open it one handed, dipping his fingers inside and reaching between them, unwilling to part from Charlie even for a moment.

Charlie stopped breathing at the first touch, a part of the hurt melting with the warmth of Remus's fingers. He spread his legs wider, silently inviting Remus to do as he pleased, while he nuzzled Remus's neck. "You have me. You always had me," he said against the damp skin.

Remus drove his fingers in deep, gently opening him, revelling in the fact that he could be this close to him again. "So beautiful," he murmured, sliding his fingers in and out, coaxing him to relax, to accept more. He pulled his fingers free and fell forward, catching himself on his palms and pressing his hips forward, searching. Charlie's hips rose to meet his and then the tip of his cock was pressing at the loosened pucker, moving forward, fucking into him slowly. "I'm sorry," Remus whispered against his lips, "I should never have pushed you away."

"Not now, Remus." But the simple admission had left a smile in his face. "Fuck me, now. That's what I need, what we both need." His large hands cupped Remus's arse, feeling clenched as he moved in and out of Charlie's body.

After being apart for so long, Charlie doubted either of them would last long, but he focused on the moment, on each thrust that made him feel wanted and loved again, on Remus's body solid against his, and Remus's eyes, _those eyes_ , always so expressive, so filled with emotions, and now they showed love and lust and want, and Charlie couldn't take his gaze off of them.

Remus obeyed, pulling out slowly, thrusting back in, sinking hard and sure into Charlie's body. "You're so tight," he gasped, thrusting a bit harder. "Love the way you feel, so fucking hot, so perfect." Undulating his hips in a tight circle, Remus moaned softly, resting his weight against Charlie and letting his hands travel over his ribs. He could feel Charlie's heart beating against his chest and he watched his face as he took him.

It had been too long. "I'm... oh God, Charlie. Missed this. Love..." He was panting, sweat rolling off of his forehead, his muscles tight and trembling, so close but wanting more than anything to draw this out as long as possible.

Charlie captured Remus's lips again, kissing him deeply, pouring everything he felt into kisses and touches, knowing that they would be more real than words. He moved with Remus, meeting his thrusts, bucking up to get him deep, deeper than he thought possible.

His eyes still on Remus, Charlie took Remus's hand, their bodies shifting before their joint hands closed around Charlie's cock, slow movements that matched Remus's tempo at first, and then they sped up, faster, until he couldn't wait any longer. He threw his head back, coming with Remus's name on his lips.

Remus followed him down, the tight spasms around his cock pushing him over the edge. He cried out, his hips snapping forward as his prick spurted deep inside. He slumped against Charlie, gasping for breath. His heart pounded in his chest and he raised his head and crushed their lips together in a desperate kiss. "Love you," he murmured, unthinking, his body convulsing as he emptied himself inside of Charlie.

"Me too," Charlie said softly. He kept an arm around Remus, holding him tight, as he kissed Remus's shoulder and neck, and anywhere he could reach.

Silence reigned in the tent for a while, long enough for their heart beats to slow down and their breathing to return to normal. Charlie looked at Remus intently. Unsure of what to say. He didn't know how they got here. Their relationship seemed to go faster than a Nimbus, and Charlie didn't know where they were going until they arrived. "Are you sure, Remus, of this? Don't let me tell my parents if you aren't."

Remus cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I've always been sure of this. Of us. Charlie... you pointed out yourself that we'd never gone out together. Our interactions always occurred in the bedroom. I just... I didn't want to hide anymore. I never understood how you could be so scared for people to find out. But then, I guess I forget that not everyone has had dark secrets revealed to the world. It took me about a day to realize I'd made a mistake. By then I'd talked myself into you being better off without me anyway. I can't... I should have handled things differently. I can blame all sorts of things, Sirius' death, the missions... but in the end it was my decision and my fault that you were hurt. Am I sure? I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"I'm not scared," Charlie answered without missing a beat, an instant reaction that required no thinking. Then, he smiled, and softened his tone. "I'm not, really. I know you don't get it, but I've always worried about my parents and how they would feel. I can take whatever comes. Of course, you might not be so lucky. Tonks is an Auror, who knows what kind of nasty hexes she know," he finished with a grin.

Remus pulled him close. "I could use you as a shield. You're young, I'm sure you could take it," he teased. He kissed Charlie gently, smiling against his lips. It felt so good to have him in his arms again. "I think that she will be fine. I'm not too worried. Your mother may kill me, though. Not only am I going to upset Tonks but I'm in a relationship with her son. And Molly may not be an Auror but I'll wager her hexes are something to be reckoned with. Will you still love me when I have tentacles?"

"See, and then you have the courage to ask why I'm afraid of my parents," Charlie said, laughing. "My mother is scary. We should send her against You Know Who; I have a feeling he'd cower after a few minutes listening to one of her speeches." He raised his head up and kissed Remus, a hand resting gently on one cheek. He lay back down, but kept his hand where it was. "I love you as a werewolf; a few tentacles won't matter."

Remus laughed. It felt good to laugh. Normal again. "Tentacles might even be interesting." He covered Charlie's hand with his own and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of sex and sweat and Charlie. "I couldn't get you out of my mind," he said quietly. "I've dreamt of you, a thousand times." Endless nights away from home, staying in places that he cared not to think about, the only thing helping him sleep was the promise of Charlie's face behind his eyelids. And now he was here and the dreams didn't hold a candle to the real thing.

"I'm here, now. No need to dream or wonder. Merlin knows what we'll happen now that Dumbledore is dead, but it won't be like the last year, Remus. I'll help you anyway I can. And I'm blaming the recent bout of emotional display on you. Weasleys are supposed to get emotional only when angry," he said with a grin. "Accio wand." Two wands reached him, and he missed one, nearly hitting his forehead. "I'll have to learn to be more specific, because I want you around as long as possible." He cast a spell and cleaned them up. "Let's stay here for tonight. We can go back to England tomorrow."

They spent the rest of the night together, heading back to England in the morning. They didn't know what would happen that day or the days that would come, but together they were much stronger and they could face whatever the world threw at them.

Published August 4, 2006.


End file.
